3 month trial coming to an end

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by liveinhope, Jan 7, 2009.

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  1. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    :sad: years of depression years of thinking it would change a serious attempt to leave and even dying wasnt on my side, where did it leave me no where limbo im not in the living world and wasnt given the grace to enter the peaceful one either so now im nowhere no one, 3 months have passed and tonight im sorry but i still deep down want to die:sad::sad::sad::sad:
     
  2. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you feel this way.

    I'm here if you nee to talk :hug:
     
  3. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry your feeling like this please try and stay safe :hug:
     
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I want you to think of how many years it took you to get to the place you are in now. Compared to that 3 months is a relatively short time. Change cannot happen over night and sometimes takes years. I know this past year has really taken its toll on you. I look into the eyes of your precious granddaughter and see how full of life and love she is. It frightens me to think of what would lie beneath those eyes should she lose you in that way. I know you have seen that lifeless look in the eyes of children when they lost someone dear to them. Some never recover. You struggle with the loss of those friends as an adult. Imagine that look in your granddaughter. She is worth the fight you have put up thus far. More importantly, you are both worth the fight for you to heal. Please do not succumb to these feelings. Give yourself whatever time it takes, no limitations. :hug:
     
  5. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    i don't know you but did not want to read and run.. i think gentle is right you know...

    hope you feel better soon

    sam x
     
  6. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    hun, im sorry you are feel ing the way you are.
    you know you can always talk to me.
    please take care and stay safe :hug:
     
  7. d-pressed

    d-pressed Well-Known Member

    Hello

    I'm sorry that you are suffering. Others who have posted seem to know more about what you have had to go through and believe you are strong enough to get through this, and you should too. You're not doomed to failure - you just haven't been successful yet, and when you come out of this the rewards will be great.

    :eek:ld: - the wise old man says: Take each day as it comes, and at the end of the day try to write down you have achieved, even the smallest thing. Like, you managed to put on a brave face going out, or cooked something nice!

    In the meantime, read this http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847 - comedy is good for warming the heart!

    Hang in there! :smile: :arms:
     
  8. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Thank you all, i appreciate the replies they in themselves warm my heart and frienship here is always there even when you have been away but I feel the same today as yesterday if not worse, I have said for a long time this fight would end up beating me, I did my very best to leave and for some reason even I can figure I am still here on earth, but i so desperately wanted to leave then,hence my actions and I came so very close, I still want to leave there is no more left,infact ive just made things even worse by surviving
    im so sorry :sad:
     
  9. d-pressed

    d-pressed Well-Known Member

    Firstly, there is nothing to be sorry about. Feelings of immense guilt are common in depressed/suicidal people and are often baseless in reality. What we and everyone else wants is you to get better.

    Second, I think you don't want to die, but want to find an end to this pain - although as I know very well you won't believe this right now. If you have suffered for years of depression with treatment, then it simply means that you need to start treatment again from scratch with a whole new perspective and a different strategy to before to ensure it you are equipped to deal with your depression in the future. If you have never had treatment/therapy, I suggest you find some straight away.

    In the meantime, find a way to get out your usual environment - go for walks, maybe join an evening dance class, and just do things that you think you'll enjoy.

    Remember, time is a great healer - you probably won't understand that until you've experienced it yourself.

    All the best.
     
  10. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Thank you, I have been in therapy for a long time, had these feelings for a long time, I have been under the crisis team for 3 months and am now under the community team, I have a new therapist and an allocated worker who I see often and a psi allocated to me, meds have all been changed since being in hospital in Septemeber, but i still dont feel any of this is working or is beneficial, I have tried for so long now this was my last stab at living

    Im sorry you to have felt this way I can tell in your writing you know what I mean hug
     
  11. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I think its time to go now:sad:
    been here before i know the signs, i just know:sad:
     
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