I got depressed, borderline suicide, so i decide to move away and go to uni. I left in the hope i would get friends, a girlfriend, a social life rather than sitting at a computer all day and a career/degree that would make me proud of myself and slightly arrogant. The year is now coming to an end, i'm at home now but i go to uni for a week next week then that is it for over 3 months. Uni helped depression slightly, at first, mainly because those 4 things i said looked possible, like there would be a chance of something, but then depression came back 2nd half of the year and has been getting worse and worse as the year comes closer to an end. I have a few friends. Although i stopped going to lectures because i had none on the course. I leave still having never had a gf, i leave without a social life, i've only been out once since january, the friends i have dont do anything but sit in a kitchen play on laptops maybe watch a film or two. After a week at uni i bottled the course i was going to do, changed to something i thought was achieveable, so pride in what i do has gone. Now I am soon to be back home for 3 months, back to the life of nothing, going nowhere, doing nothing, no friends, no gf, no independence. All i want is a gf, someone to be with, be close to, someone who will make me feel better about me so i can move up. But this year has taught me that i am not good enough, i'm not attractive. Uni has become a rut like my previously life. I dont think it will be long before i become suicidal again. I dont know what to do, i dont want to feel this way. Like Jim Carey said in dumb and dumber (lol) "Harry, I'm sick of being no one, I'm sick of having no one"