3 weeks after my stroke

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Shad, Oct 25, 2010.

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  1. Shad

    Shad Active Member

    My life has slowly spirally downhill over the last 2 years. Ive been waiting on a heart transplant for awhile now. Honestly I dont wants it. I would rather it go to someone who really wants it and needs it. My doctor told me If i didnt take my meds i could have a stroke. Well I got to busy and forgot.'I had a stroke on Sept. 29. I lost most fuctions on my right side all the feelings on my right side as well. I can hardly talk. Spelling is a real treat to.
    A week afterwards I could send a simple text "Call me" even after sounding it out I still didnt know how to spell it. Thank God for spell checker.
    I looked up suicide and stroke on google. Wow. Was I surprised.
    Basically I'm at the bottom of the barrel. I cant see a way out.
    I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I've lived with my parents since my divorce in 05'. Pretty sad huh? My kids don't talk to me anymore.
    And when I get upset and I try to tell my mother that I have nothing to live to she shrugs it off. I try to tell her about being lonely and she doesnt understand. I wish I had someone to talk to. Someone to just telll me it'll be alright. I hurt deep inside and no one understands. Im basically treated like shit. I dont know how the next couple of hours will go, but I real appreciate
    this forum and the caring that strangers show. More caring than my family shows towards me. Thank you for your friendship.
  2. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Honey, Im so sorry you have to go through all this. Must be horrible. I hope your not in to much physical pain.

    Since this has happened, what do you do with yourself? Are you in phsical therapy, do they think you will ever get any feelings back?

    Most people dont want to talk about suicide, if you ask my H its because he doesnt know what to say and doesnt want to say anything wrong. Most dont knkow what it feels like to be suicidial, most think its something we can turn off. I understand how you feel.

    I hope your having a better day today and Im here if you ever want to talk.
  3. EmptyLife

    EmptyLife Well-Known Member

    What were you busy with that you forgot to take your meds? Maybe something you could watch out for next time?
    Family is lousy. My aunt, who used to be supportive, sneeringly mocked me, saying, "I could be like you. Depressed. Suicide ideation...think of the relatives who've had it much worse than you" and other obnoxious things. Her last phone message to me, in its entirety, was, "I don't know what you're talking about." Almost every present I have ever given her, she's said, "I don't want it. Do you want it back?" Including a present she asked for specifically. Including a present that her son ended up buying her years later.
    I don't talk to her anymore.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    HEy there is lots of hope for you stroke does not have to take your living away.
    Hope you are in therapy keeping you muscles healthy There are meds out there that can be given to prevent the chance of another stroke as GP about them. Keep trying okay get therapy get out among people even just going to movie shopping do it use what ever means don't isolate okay and keep going to therapy
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