I'm 30 years old, and have been a Law Enforcement Officer for seven years. I rose through the ranks fairly quickly and am now a supervisor. I've never been married and have no children. This all has recently become a heavy burden to bear, every attempt at a meaningful relationship has ended in disaster, every attempt I have made at kindling something has ended in rejection. I have closed myself off from what few friends at work I do have because their family and themselves are reminders of what I've always wanted, and are reminders that I've failed in my life. My sense of self-worth is non existant, I have gone from being unhappy to hating every aspect of who I am and can no longer stand the person I see in the mirror, everyone tells me to "Hang in there" and I'm "Such a nice guy" yet I find myself alone consistently. I worked 36 days straight without a day off 12-16 hours a day to avoid coming home as little as possible, simply because my home feels like a prison cell. I'm tired of feeling alone, and tired of being in my position, I'm at the point now I would welcome something to happen to me at work, and no longer care about my well being at work due to preferring something happen to me than one of my people under me simply because I have nothing worth coming home to, and I feel it would not be a loss for anyone were something to happen to me. I'm tired of being alone, and tired of being miserable each day, regardless of what I do in find myself in worse shape and now that I've turned 30 I feel it's to late for me to start a family, or attempt to start one, every day I goto work I keep hoping that something happens and it will be my last, I'm tired of feeling this way, I'm tired of feeling alone and really want it to end.