Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by asd, Feb 28, 2008.

  1. asd

    asd Guest

    I'd like to think that i have a bit more on my plate than the average person does in terms of problems. Where do i start? i'm a young adult and have two brothers that are a few years older. About 10 years ago one of my brothers was diagnosed with Schitzophrenia(spelling?) and as if it weren't bad enough it devastated my other brother (they're twins) almost as much because of the fact that the one who got schitzophrenia was the outgoing, dominant leader and the other one was the quiet, timid follower. so it crushed them both very, very hard.

    Now me, i was force-fed by a babysitter when i was about 3 years old and it went on for about several months and ever since then have been a picky eater, i have tried some foods i don't eat and it's as if my mind is too involved, and is telling me to not eat it because it might not be safe, i might throw up, etc. (i never throw up, am not anorexic, etc.) so my range of foods is very limited. heres the funny part: both of my parents were very thin until their late 20s early 30s. so in other words, that is the "perfect storm" for a person to be extremely skinny, as i am. The weird part is that i am also extremely healthy, it is very very rare for me to feel the slightest headache, cold, fever, etc. I hate being skinny and have been on a couple of diets to gain weight, but the problem is that i have to eat often like 6 times a day and with my very limited food range, it is hard because i get tired of eating the same old stuff. there are certain things i don't get tired of but they are expensive/dont have enough protein and/or fats in them. i have been floating at around the same weight range for years. i can gain 8 or so pounds but i can't go beyond a certain weight. i dropped out because of depression which started when i lost my 4th best friend in about 4 years due to moving (since then i haven't had any friends outside of school and the internet), which caused me to do bad in school. i want to go to college and get a job but i need to deal with my weight problem first. i've even felt like taking steroids before but i wouldn't allow myself to do that. but the more time passes the more depressed i get. i love so many things in life, including several foods, sports teams, music, video games, cars and i know i am a very smart person, i have so many different career paths i wish to pursue but i am being held back this problem and i feel frustrated without any motivation. please help.
  2. asd

    asd Guest

    i dont feel like anyone can help me, ive been to therapists and i feel as if i know more than they do. talk? how is talking going to help me gain weight and eat everything? im very impatient, i want things to change now! i want to be in college at a normal weight and make friends, get laid, start making money and live by myself. im questioning myself for even typing this, because i just dont feel talking about it will help significantly. i read a suicide prevention page online and it was very good, but it didnt help me, im not going to eat everything all of a sudden and gain weight so wtf? i feel confused, ive never attempted suicide of thought about it as much as i have the past few days. i love myself and alot of things in life but....i dont know, i feel like even being in this forum is pointless but i hope you guys prove me wrong.
  3. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member

    Hi, sorry to hear of your troubles.

    If you want to gain weight then the best way to do it is probably by gaining muscle so that means doing some weight training which can benefit anybody.

    When you train effectively you'll find your appetite will increase a lot.

    I hope things get better for you

    Take care
  4. asd

    asd Guest

    im going to give it another go, no other choice i guess. i get mad whenever im hungry and realize i cant stuff anything into my mouth and chew and swallow, which is about 3 times a day everyday. i dont feel that i can continue to try gaining weight for much longer, id rather die than live with this problem when im 25+. the frustration is overwhelming.
  5. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member

    Well, I'm of a very slim build. I'm just over 30 now. My weight for the most part was about 9.5 stone. My arms were very skinny, I used to do a few pressups and stuff when I was younger otherwise I would have probably been more like 8.5 stone. The only physical work was doing was typing on a keyboard. I started working out recently and I gained a stone within a couple of months. I'm over 11 stone now and I could easily gain more muscle as I'm still only slim. It just takes effort, I don't use weights either, only bodyweight exercises. I don't even eat much either, I'm off my food a lot because of the depression but nutrition is important. Train and eat properly and you will gain muscle which is dense and heavy.

    You could try taking Creatine with some strength training, it will make your muscles swell up and it'll be easier to train. Creatine can help put on a bit of weight quickly but I think it is mainly water retention in the muscles. Muscle is much denser and heavier than fat, gaining weight isn't just about eating as much food as possible.

    I'm sorry to hear you are so frustrated with this problem.

    Take are
  6. Sorry that you are feeling so bad. I hear you and yeah stuff sucks sometimes. I'm dealing with things too. I feel hopeless too. I think we have to look at only about five problems in our life at a time and figure out what we can change and what is something we can't change. Then we have to grieve over the ones we can't change since we have to let them go. It takes a lot of time letting problems go because first we have to move past denying that we can’t change them, get mad that we can’t change them, and then feel sad you can’t change them, finally accept we can’t change them. Then we have to put them away and eventually you won’t be thinking about them all the time.
    Also, you have to work on what you can change, only one problem at a time and only little steps at first. You may not be able to do all of this at once to start with but like they say a day at a time.
    When I was in my early 20’s I tried to kill myself again. (I don’t know how many times it has been over the course of my life but I have the scars to prove it. ) One day I accepted the fact that I would never find anyone and that I would spend the rest of my life all alone. Then I just did things that I liked and suddenly kept running into a woman that had the same hobbies as me and we hit it off. We have been married for 17 years now. You would think I would be happy, and I am, but I can’t seem to keep the thoughts from coming back when I feel sad. It is like most people only ever fall into the sadness ocean to their waist, and I take a helicopter and I’m dropped off miles off shore surrounded by sadness with no hope of seeing the shore.
    We all want relief from the pain that we think will never go away. I am dealing with my own battles right now and I only have enough strength to say I won’t do anything drastic today. I can’t promise you tomorrow, but today I keep trying. What I like to do to make myself feel better is random acts of kindness. Look when you’re out and about for opportunities to make someone else smile. Buy a meal for someone sitting alone in a restaurant without them knowing it was you. Pay for two movie tickets for the people in line behind you and tell the clerk to not let them know it was you. Or just hold the door open for someone. At least it will take you mind off your problems for a moment. That is what I try to do.