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Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by blue shoes, May 3, 2008.

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  1. blue shoes

    blue shoes Well-Known Member

    I used to SH back in 2006 regularly, mostly by popping pills, until I got really sick one day, and got scared and stopped. Didn't do it for a long time, then, well about a month ago, started occasionally doing it again.
    I'm at a very bad place. Have no one to tell. Tried to, but realized no one ever feels sympathy for me. It's my fault I guess. When things keep repeating, you realize it must be you. And well yea, I do too. There is a reason why people stop caring, why they don't want me after a certain point, why they can't feel sympathy for me. It's me. The truth is, I'm a worthless piece of nothing. And I hate myself. And I want to hurt myself. But then I think about certain people. And I feel like I can't do it. And keeping repressing the urges aren't good for me, I am dying on the inside. Not being a drama queen, I really am.
    So dunno. Feel like going back to doing it. But then think about them. So just dunno.
    Dunno why I posted either. :dunno:
     
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    :hug: Blue

    :happyno: You are not a worthless piece of shit or any of those negative things you say about yourself. In fact I think you're a very worthy, lovely and compassionate person :yes:
    It's good that you repress your urges, even though it's hard and it feels like your dying on the inside :sad:

    Get yo arse on MSN and talk to me! I might not make it better, but the least I can do is offer distraction and show you that you are cared for. That the fact that some people in your life might have seem to stop caring for you and don't seem to want you as a friend anymore, doesn't mean that everyone is like them.

    :arms:
     
  3. blue shoes

    blue shoes Well-Known Member

    Thanks Ish. :hug:
    No need to waste time on me on MSN, the fact that you replied to my thread is more than I deserve. :hug:
     
  4. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    first. it'd be no waste of time.
    second. it's not more than you deserve.
    :happyno:

    I'll be around later today. email me anytime. The replies I still 'owe' you are coming up later today as well :smile:

    :arms:
     
  5. blue shoes

    blue shoes Well-Known Member

    Thanks :hug: (not that I agree that I'm not a waste and deserve anything at all )

    As for the reply, no worries. Told ya it's not like taking tabs.
     
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