36 year old piece of shit!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Morbituarty, Mar 3, 2016.

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  1. Morbituarty

    Morbituarty Well-Known Member

    The title says it all,thats what Ive always been,this depression has killed me Im already dead,spend my days just taking care of dad,he has parkinson disease,and thats enough,I dont know what else to say,other than I dont know what the future will reserve for me,I dont even think about future,this pain is destroying my brain,since Im unemployed for over 8 years now(been studying till 28)...who will employ a wasted garbage like that??,everytime I start to take steps in my life like to study again,I end up in a worse depression,maybe Im not meant to study,and work neither cause all my interviews were big failures so far.Ok,Im f***king off now,dads wants to go to toilet!!shit!!
    Red Nightmare likes this.
  2. Red Nightmare

    Red Nightmare Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, my friend. I hope things get better for you. Depression sucks.
  3. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry. While you are caring for someone else, make sure you are still caring for YOU.
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm really sorry you're feeling so bad. I don't think you're a piece of shit; but I realize me saying that, and you believing it, are two different things. Here if you feel like talking.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    *hugs* I am so sorry you are going through this. I know a 27 year old guy who is still studying nursing, it's not uncommon anymore for older folks to study in their late 20's. It does NOT make you a failure. I hope your dad is okay, feel free to talk to us any time you are in distress. We will do our very best to help you.
    Please hold on a little longer, you will get there.
  6. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I think it's very admirable that you stay and take care of your sick dad.

    Hang in there. Don't give up on yourself!

    What do you want to study? Have you considered that taking care of your father is giving you some skills as well you can use in your studies and work life?

    Don't give up, remember yourself too!
  7. May9

    May9 Member

    I'm 36 also. I wasted the first 28 yrs of my life being a selfish jerk. Went back for nursing, became an RN, n now I'm back in school. There are people all ages. Every situation different. Some starting careers over, for some they just starting. It seems almost impossible to turn your life around when your depressed. And for me it was a vicious cycle. I didn't accomplish anything in life because depression held me back, and than it was I was even more depressed because I felt like I had nothing. Set small goals, because if you aim big, it'll be overwhelming, and than you'll place expectations on yourself, and end up being disappointed. So one day at a time, and one small goal at a time. My professional life is better, but I'm still struggling internally. Your not a piece of sh*t. Your dealing with a lot, in addition to caring for a sick parent. I wish you the best, feel free to pm me anytime. I'm relatively new to this forum as well. Hang in there =).
  8. KBambi

    KBambi Active Member

    Well first off, just the fact that you are taking care of your father says you have a big heart. All that other stuff isn't everything in life. Sadly it seems the stuff that's truly valuable in this life has lost its value in much of society. But that doesn't mean that its not important! What you are doing is so important you can't put a price on it.

    But I know what it's like to be the caregiver and sometimes our needs all but disappear and we feel like we aren't growing, just existing. It's totally normal to feel that way.

    I know these are just words but you ARE special. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that.
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