Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DogFood, Jan 13, 2014.

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  1. DogFood

    DogFood Member

    When you've turned 180*.
    And then turned another 180*.

    You've gone 360* and feel like there is no where left to turn.

    I have no hope. No satisfaction.
    Coupled with shear embarrassment of being in this situation.

    I've reached a point of diminishing functionality.
    All my efforts go in to not exiting stage left.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Sorry you feel so low hun and without hope Hope is there it always is just sometimes we cannot see it for the darkness we are in. It is hard to reach out so i am glad you have here for support and hope that in real life you have some supports too so you don't have to fight the depression alone
  3. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    may i ask what caused you to feel you had to go back to living the way you were before you made the first set of changes?
  4. DogFood

    DogFood Member

    I thought the meds would help. They really haven't.
    I thought I could find a way out of the crap trap and find a good reason to get up every morning. I didn't; I just found a new way to be smacked around.

    I thought I could find new friends. I couldn't. And the couple that remain seem to remain out of some level of guilt or thinking how pathetic I am.

    I'm pretty much alone.
    And while the very few are sympathetic, no one truly understands what I fight each minute of every day.

    Anytime I think I can pull up my boot straps I'm exhausted.

    It would feel to great for me to just go to sleep...forever.
    Yet, I stay cuz I know it would really suck for all that remain.

    I've taken leave from my depressing, exhausting, demoralizing job because I merely sit around crying most of the day.
  5. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    sounds like you needed "a change", yes, but not neccessarily to "revert back" to how you were before. meds have never helped me either, but i am finding essentail oils are doing a lot for me. i have lavender essential oil to help me stay calm, rose essential oil to help with my depression, and peppermint essential oil to help me out of my apathy type moods or just give me more energy. lavender oil also helps me to sleep. i dont know if essential oils are something you need or could find useful, but thats just one possibility. there are many different things that affect our moods: food, exercise, essential oil, medication, juices, event in our lives, sleep, and genetics.

    all i'm saying is don't give up... keep looking for a solution
  6. DogFood

    DogFood Member

    Reverting wasn't a choice; it just seemed to happen that way.

    Haven't given up yet, but it takes all my energy.

    Will give the oils a try....

    Thank you.
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