I don't understand why life has to have bad things in it, and why life has to exist, and some people have lives where they don't want to even live it, and it's so hard for them.. WHYYYY!? Why can they just never ever be born, why do they have to live and suffer? It's so messed up. Everything is so different this year. I don't know if it's better or worse though.. But right now I don't think life is worth living, I'm not living for anything, I have nothing to live for, and I keep remembering how shit everything is. Why does nothing good ever happen? I know it's like this for many people.. but why can't everyone just have similar lives, it's so unfair. But when you never feel happy or good or anything, and you feel cursed cause it's just bad thing after bad thing what's the point? And it never changes. :dry: Like I said things are so much different these days, it's like this whole different approach, or a new life, but it's not a good one or anything. I just see things differently, and react different I guess. I'm so over everything, and have just accepted life isn't good. Life infact is just shit. I have 3 moods, I'm either angry and savage, apathetic and dont' care anymore, or just hate life and all upset I suppose. I wish I knew how to change things but I don't think they can actually be changed (please don't say they can cause really I don't think they can) And because I can't change the situations I think it's just always going to be like this.. and I'm not looking forward to that :/ I've tried everrrrything though. People say time heals everything but how much time, you get sick of waiting.. tried moving on, failed. Tried pretending blah taken every approach but it always ends up the same.. so I just don't know what to do. It seems like dying is just the easy simple thing to do, it'd be the only solution because it's the only way to finish at get rid of everything, and I knowww "permanent solution to a temporary problem" but it's not temporary that's the thing, it's life, and forever. I know I probably never will commit suicide. I use to come so close to it but not really anymore, it's more just thinking about it and wishing it. Hoping I won't wake up and hoping I'll die, but never going through with it. I probably could've done it last year, but I'm alot different now. I use to hate myself for not being able to do it, I kinda still do. Like I envy those people who have the actual strength to do that, even though that's probably a horrible thing to say.. I don't know if I actually want to die anymore, because sometimes I'm alright with things, but then sometimes I just don't want to be alive anymore, and right now the past few days it's been that. I can't see the point in staying and things are just so shit so yeah basically it'd solve everything. But really, I'd want to live life if I could fix the things that make it unlivable. And I want to, but I don't think I can.. so it truly sucks.. I really wish I could meet someone who could fix it, or give me answers or something :dry: Life is so depressing, and it's depressing being around happy people and wondering why the only good things in your life can never last, that's what i REALLY want to know.. Good things do happen but they all end very painfully, so you can't really consider them good anymore. It's all bad. And everything is always the same. I wish I knew what to do..