so i can't be arsed to post to be honest but i feel like im gonna explode so i figured before i kill a cat, person or myself i'd better post. so...went to my mums today coz i haven't been for a while and haven't seen her for a while. started off fine, went to hers, had breakfast together and chilled out in the garden then she had to whizz off to get some bits so i went next door coz mum didn't want to leave me at hers alone. Got to the neighbours and they were having some kind of gathering coz about 5 families from the street was there. but yer, i chilled there and mum came back, she came over and we had a laugh round the neighbours house. Came to tea time and everyones dicussing what they aren't having for dinner because they don't have anything, mum doesn't have anything and i'm hungry so i tell her i'm gonna have a take away if she wants something and she just looked at me like i'd done something wrong, the neighbours noticed as well coz it went dead quiet...so i backed off for a couple minutes then went to get a menu. When i got back i asked if anyone else wanted something while i was ordering and mum just roared up screwing at me about how i need to save that money for my youth trip even though i have over £70 and and my travel, acomodation and food is paid for, i have £70 of savings to spend on anything i want, its my money, i earnt it and i hadn't eaten since breakfast so i'm hungry, didn't look like i was gonna get home anytime soon. For about 15 minutes she was screwing at me and calling every name under then sun infront of the neighbours! she only stopped when i ran off and walked home. She always has a go at me because i don't go out with her but thats why, every single time we're around people she has to have a sly dig at me, everyone notices and leaves me really embarrassed. she called me up a couple hours later and screwed at me for leaving, i told her why i left and what she does and she said that i don't understand how hard it is for her to have a daughter like me, she said i was difficult to get on with and a nightmare to live with :/ as people say, ignore her. thanks for the comment, honestly but how the hell do i ignore her? shes my mum. im fucking up at the whole sleeping shit as well. for about a week now, probably longer, i've been having shitty dreams/nightmares everynight. They start differently but always end the same. I'd be going about doing my thing and i'd bump into someone i know who means the world to me, she's like a mum to me, and she'd take me back home to chill. We'd have a blast and then she'd just randomly leave for good. She'd leave me in her big dark house. I don't know why i keep having these dreams but they're really annoying because i wake up in a state and i can feel myself losing faith in her when she's the only person that still has my complete trust :sad: i don't trust anyone else, they've just abused my trust in the past and people are still doing so but she's never hurt me, i want trust her but the dreams are making me pull away.