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Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by JBird, Aug 25, 2008.

  1. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    so i can't be arsed to post to be honest but i feel like im gonna explode so i figured before i kill a cat, person or myself i'd better post.

    so...went to my mums today coz i haven't been for a while and haven't seen her for a while. started off fine, went to hers, had breakfast together and chilled out in the garden then she had to whizz off to get some bits so i went next door coz mum didn't want to leave me at hers alone. Got to the neighbours and they were having some kind of gathering coz about 5 families from the street was there. but yer, i chilled there and mum came back, she came over and we had a laugh round the neighbours house. Came to tea time and everyones dicussing what they aren't having for dinner because they don't have anything, mum doesn't have anything and i'm hungry so i tell her i'm gonna have a take away if she wants something and she just looked at me like i'd done something wrong, the neighbours noticed as well coz it went dead quiet...so i backed off for a couple minutes then went to get a menu. When i got back i asked if anyone else wanted something while i was ordering and mum just roared up screwing at me about how i need to save that money for my youth trip even though i have over £70 and and my travel, acomodation and food is paid for, i have £70 of savings to spend on anything i want, its my money, i earnt it and i hadn't eaten since breakfast so i'm hungry, didn't look like i was gonna get home anytime soon.
    For about 15 minutes she was screwing at me and calling every name under then sun infront of the neighbours! she only stopped when i ran off and walked home.

    She always has a go at me because i don't go out with her but thats why, every single time we're around people she has to have a sly dig at me, everyone notices and leaves me really embarrassed. she called me up a couple hours later and screwed at me for leaving, i told her why i left and what she does and she said that i don't understand how hard it is for her to have a daughter like me, she said i was difficult to get on with and a nightmare to live with :/ as people say, ignore her. thanks for the comment, honestly but how the hell do i ignore her? shes my mum.

    im fucking up at the whole sleeping shit as well. for about a week now, probably longer, i've been having shitty dreams/nightmares everynight. They start differently but always end the same. I'd be going about doing my thing and i'd bump into someone i know who means the world to me, she's like a mum to me, and she'd take me back home to chill. We'd have a blast and then she'd just randomly leave for good. She'd leave me in her big dark house. I don't know why i keep having these dreams but they're really annoying because i wake up in a state and i can feel myself losing faith in her when she's the only person that still has my complete trust :sad: i don't trust anyone else, they've just abused my trust in the past and people are still doing so but she's never hurt me, i want trust her but the dreams are making me pull away.
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Ask your mother if there is anything else that is bothering her, sometimes people
    have other things on there minds and it can manifest itself through anger and frustation towards people who are close to them.
  3. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Trust is a hard thing to acquire and when it's broken continuously by someone you love it's hard to regain that trust from anyone. Your mother is most likely struggling with her own insecurities and maybe sees you as a threat. Why, I don't know?! In my experience with my mother she took digs at me because she felt small herself and that was her way to rebuild her shattered ego(something like that). I think your mother sees you as someone who has a better life than her, which in my eyes you do, evne if you don't see it. Her way of balancing that out is to try to destroy you mentally and emotionally.

    I won't ever say to you to ignore her or write her off. After 28 years I still talk to my mother and I still lover her. I still have int he back of my mind the things she's said and done but she put me in this world and regardless of her past issues I still love her. I will always love her, after all she's my mom. The same goes for you. Don't stop loving her because she feels she needs to be superior in the relationship. Don't stop loving her because she feels weak and needs to break someone to make herself feel good. Always love her honey, after all you do only have one mother.

    Wubbles you loads.
  4. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Beaks, I don't really know what to say, but I didn't want to leave this thread without replying.
    All I can do is offer a listening ear and send some virtual hugs :hug: :arms:

    Also, I know the dreams make you scared in a way, but I honestly don't think that person would ever leave you just like that. :hug: She's the most trustworthy person imaginable, and she wouldn't do that. :hug:

    Feel free to email me anytime you need a chat if I'm not on MSN
  5. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Hun, i've told you before that she would never leave you. She loves you to bits and im 100% sure of this. I know your scared of loosing her and to be honest i can't blame you. She's one of the most amazing people i've ever known. Me and you both know that she would never do that to anyone, let alone you! If you ever have another one of the dreams then get a hold of me. I'm always here for ya beaky <3