...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by erjan, Aug 27, 2008.

  1. erjan

    erjan Active Member

    :sad:

    I'm longing for someone...

    Be around me. Hold me. Make me smile. Keep me safe. Hold me tight. Let me be the one special in your heart.

    Let me hold you, let me keep you safe. When I love, I love with all my heart.

    But there's no love in me. It's lost...

    What is there left to do? I feel no love for others, and though I know others love me, I don't feel it.

    I just feel sad.

    I want to feel love. Both from you, and from me. But I don't know who you are. A fragment of my imagination, someone I dream of at nights. No existence, just a longing.

    Why must this emptiness go on forever?

    I need love, not only this mental one, but physical. I don't care about the sex, I can be without that. But hugs... a kiss now and then, and hands holding hands. Feeling safe in your arms... Sleeping together, waking up in the morning with a loving person at your side.

    But that's a dream.

    People I talk to say that it's a phase, that I can initiate a relationship only when I'm better, when I'm not so blue... but who'd want me? Who wants to love someone who hates himself? Can I even love others when I hate myself?

    I don't know... So many questions. I want someone now. I want to be safe. But I feel so scared. I am scared, frightened. Of being alone.

    I'm scared, sad with an aching heart. There's no god in my world. No one I love. No one that I can feel is loving me.

    I want to escape this...


    Sleep, sleep, little man
    Life is all a dream
    On dark waters, burning bright,
    Sail towards the land of night...
    Everyone's alone.

    Waves hum soft against your boat
    Life is all a dream.
    Ocean salt, and wet, and deep...
    ...as of many eyes that weep
    Everyone's alone.

    Night is long, so long, so long
    Life is all a dream.
    Sink in sleep's soft lap and dream,
    Dream that day will break sometime.
    Everyone's alone.

    Sinking, sinking without care!
    Life is all a dream.
    In the sea of sleep somewhere
    There's a place to still our fear.
    Everyone's alone.

    Earth spins on its own through space
    Life is all a dream.
    We know nothing, only this:
    Everything is loneliness
    Everyone's alone.

    Live, live, little boy
    Life is all a dream.
    Before you know it, it is gone
    Soon the bridges all will burn
    Everyone's alone.

    Dream, dream, little springtime
    Life is all a dream
    Where we come from, where we go
    There is no-one who can know
    Everyone's alone.

    Grow, grow, little seed.
    Life is all a dream.
    Darkness murmurs round our isle
    Shall we, maybe, never die?
    Everyone's alone.


    - André Bjerke (transl. by A. Moore)
     
  2. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I understand how you feel, loneliness is the worst. I hope things work out for you because you sound like a very sensitive and caring person. Take care.
     
  3. erjan

    erjan Active Member

    Thanks... I hope it goes OK now ahead, but it's empty. It's all empty. It's as if I'm driving to get this little corn of intimacy all the time...
     
  4. special_needs

    special_needs Well-Known Member

    Those words almost seemed told by me. I feel exactly the same way. :sad: