Hey Oceans,
Haven't seen you post in some time. What has triggered these thoughts? Why do you hate yourself so much? I also hate the way my life has turned out, but I haven't given up yet. A good friend here on the forum gave me some good advice. She told me to set those thoughts aside and explore all the different paths that lead to the way I feel. And to explore the paths that lead me to happiness!!
She is a good friend and always gives me good advice!!! Maybe you should try that and see what becomes of it. If nothing else it helps to keep you from sitting there Idle and picking at yourself.
I know it is tuff to do but well worth the effort. It is definitley a good distraction to help keep those thoughts at bay!!!Good Luck,~Joseph~