Well... Nothing i promised last time to myself. I had the worst summer of my life, my hair is falling out in clumps and im lying in bed at 3 in the morning crying with no one to turn to. I am angry, so angry with everyone. I just got back from holiday which should've been amazing and was meant to help me, but i spent the whole time trying to get my boyfriend to kiss me, give me a big hug or anything. Always the way nowadays. A peck on the forehead yay! Like my forehead gives a f***. My last family Christmas this year, and my mum has already told me next year in on my own with a turkey dinner. I wish she would stop making me feel like this. And i cant go to alex's because he shuts me out. He told me he doesn't want to live with me next year even though we're both looking for somewhere to live. Apparently it'll get in the way of our independent lives. I get it i wouldn't wanna end up becoming just a couple with no friends etc, but im hurt and im mad. My best friend doesn't have the time of day for me anymore so i give up trying to message, or call, or organise to meet her. I don't want to go back to Ashford for Xmas its not home and i know ill spend it crying. I need to talk to someone but the people i need don't want to be there for me or have their own stuff to deal with. But im coming undone and don't know what to do.