4 days and counting... april 23rd....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Shezamura, Apr 20, 2009.

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  1. Shezamura

    Shezamura Well-Known Member

    im so much closer to killing myself... at first... i was just gonna cut myself... but no... carving myself to death is what i want... i dont want to live anymore... these posts will be one of the last things i will ever write... these are my feelings that i feel, i just wanted to be happy witih her.. but now shes just haveing fun with her life, and im just being stupid.....and dieing... and wanting to bleed all over myself... maybe i should kill myself at her door step... maybe i should try and hurt her like she hurt me... pain the words "im sorry, but you drove me to this" all over her door... i want to die damnit.... i want to so bad...... who do i have to live for now? DONT TELL ME TO LIVE FOR ME!!! I DONT WANT TO LIVE FOR ME!!!... i found all the happiness in my world just by living my life to please and make someone happy......... but she doesnt love me... fuck me, im an idiot to think i deserved love.... Clock tower prison.... www.myspace.com/Shezamura.... there is my myspace... enjoy my blogs... those will be my last testaments in my life... and how fucked up this world is....
  2. sd-239192

    sd-239192 Well-Known Member

    The world is a cold place indeed my friend, But maybe there is someone else you can live for? If not living for yourself find another to cling on to. Or talk with us, we don't want to see you go.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    When you first loose your loved one it feels as if your heart has been ripped from your chest and trampled in the dirt..I know that feeling very well..My fiance' did it to me, and I had a nervous breakdown.. I lost everything I worked so hard for..Including my job that I had for ten years.. But you know what you will get over her, it takes time..I made it to the second stage which is anger and thats all I needed to put her behind me.. It's not entirely your fault that it failed.. It takes two to make or break a relationship..See a therapist they can help put things in perspective..Take care!!!
  4. asri

    asri Well-Known Member

    hey.. it may seem like ur world has come to an end. but it isnt true. all u need is a bit of courage. bcos there always IS a tomorrow...

    and unless u start living for urself, how do u expect someone else to? unless u're able to luv urself, how can u expect someone else to?

    we all own our lives.. n tom is worth living for!

    take care.. and talk to people here. u never know when 'help' might just jump up ur lap
  5. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    losing someone you love, is a kind of death.

    a death of a dream, of a promise, of hope.

    i have felt this, i know what it is like, and there is hardly any pain on earth, to compare.

    that said, i still hope you don't go. i think all of us, no matter what stage of life we are in, can find someone to love, who will love us, in return.

    but if you go, you'll never find that person. and that person will miss out on so much, by never knowing YOU.
    pm if you want to talk; but please, at post more, talk to us, talk to someone, lean on us and let us help you through.
    xxx :console:
  6. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Please don't do it, you can get through this! Get past the 23rd and things will get easier... Heartbreak is really hard to get over but you can survive this. Give it one more year and the pain will be a lot less. You will find someone even more suited to you, who you can spend your life with. If you kill yourself now you will never find them.
    Hang in there please...
  7. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I lost my wife after 20 years of marriage. It's the reason I am a member here. I am not going to say that it's always going to be easy. I know the pain you feel, like so many others here. And I never thought this could happen, but since the day she left, I actually have had some good days.

    I had to spend a week in the psych ward of the local hospital for a suicide attempt. That helped me alot. My therapist helped me alot.

    And then..one day...I just decided to start living my life, on my own terms. Now....while I will always care for her, I am able to to seperate myself. Sure there are those moments. Heck I just posted regarding a difficulty I had over the weekend with all of this.

    But...no woman, NO WOMAN...is ever worth ending it all for.

    If you are indeed set upon this path, then you are actively suicidal. I would really like it if you called 911, or drove yourself down to your local hospital. Tell them you are ACUTELY Suicidal. You need to use that word, ACUTELY. Then they will take you more seriously.

    And while you are with them, you will learn some coping skills, you will learn how better to deal with the loss.

    It can be done. And you can do it!!!!!

    Take care!
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