4 months

[*dilligaf*]

I have been doing quite well the last couple of days, worked out where I want my life to go and how to get it there etc, I felt quite positive etc.

Yesterday was 4 months since I lost my Nan...the worst bit being that I never even realised the date until this morning.

Now I am all over the place. I keep shouting at Vikki without meaning to, I have nearly thrown my laptop out the window (we are on the third floor!) just because it wouldn't do something, I feel like killing this cat that is sitting on me, I deleted this post twice just because I kept making typing errors and I have just sent a PM that I shouldn't have done, and I snapped at someone quite badly.

I have just been on the memorial sites that I created for her

(http://mary.ocallaghan.muchloved.com/app/?

and

http://mary-ocallaghan.gonetoosoon.co.uk/

if anybody is interested :dunno:)

and upset myself listening to the song that was sang at her funeral, and looking at all the pictures.

The TV is on in the next room and I just heard the words "terminal cancer" and it set me off. :blink:

I just miss her so much. I would give anything to have her back.

I was talking to my 14yr old cousin yesterday and she was crying to me because she was missing Nan so much. Meghan (my cousin) looks to me to sort things out, to have the right answer...and I didn't know what to say to her. It made me feel useless, and reminded me just how much I miss her.

:cry:

 

[numberman]

Sam

Your post last week was the best I have seen on this forum, don't lose the momentum,please think about what yoir nan would have wanted for you and continue in that vein.


Anniversaries of all types can be difficult to cope with ,just chalk it down as a bad day and move on in the direction that you set out

 

[*dilligaf*]

Numberman....

I am determined to stick by that last thread for my Nan.. I let her down a lot while she was alive, I am not going to continue doing it now that she is dead....I think I just needed to get out what I was feeling today.

So thanks for listening, and replying :hug:

Guess we all have bad days eh? :blink: