Things are going okay, for me. I can't tell you why I did the things I did. I don't think I'll ever really know. I needed help. I saught attention just like any other person would. I went about getting it in the wrong way. You can sit back and think of me as an attention seeker, and that's fine. I admit it. I need attention. I need love, I need reassurance. If that makes me an attention seeker, I'm proud of what I am. My sincerest apologies will never be enough, I recognize that. I haven't changed, but I have made progress. I have made so much progress. It took work. It took really looking at myself, picking apart myself. I worked so damn hard. If that, paired with my sincere apologies isn't enough for you, I still understand. I recognize that what happened wasn't okay, not in the least bit, nor is it justifiable. I don't expect everyone to come running back to me saying "Hey! I missed you, how was your summer?". Because honestly, this place brings back memories. And while it may be a very safe haven for those truly in need.... it's also walking through hell, for those of us like me, who really messed up things here, and truly feel guilty and remorseful. I'll be the first to say it. I forgive myself. It's the first step to letting others forgive you. I forgive me for what I did. I hope others will, but if they don't, I cannot make them, and if I tried, it would make things worse. I hope to someday come back here and help people as much as I was helped in fighting. There are some truly wonderful and unique people here, and I'll be the first to say that I missed you.
I'm afraid giving away any of my personal information would "give me away". I fully intend on coming out as who I am in the future... the near future. But I would like for people to see this side of me before they see the side that they will remember.
