44 days

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by toffeekitten, Mar 3, 2010.

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  1. toffeekitten

    toffeekitten Well-Known Member

    I managed 44 days sh free and then let myself down...the problem is, it felt so good that i dont want to stop now...i just want to do more and more. I was beginning to feel numb and it has completly stopped that. I knows its wrong but atm i realy dont care...which is not like me at all!
    any advice? :-'(
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Well done for going 44 days. That's awesome! Nothing can take away that achievement and those 44 days.

    Did anything happen to trigger this self harm?

    It sounds like you stopped self harm and then didn't find a more positive and effective coping strategy, so you didn't have any way to try and release what was going on for you. Have you tried anything to replace the self harm?

    Have you got any professional support?
     
  3. toffeekitten

    toffeekitten Well-Known Member

    thanks, ye loads did, a build up of everything. I am seeing a CPN but thats it. I have tried the alternatives but even my cpn said that now is not the time to stop harming...but the amount i want to do atm scares me. normally i cut and then i dont want to for hours/days later, but today i just want to cut more and more...just keep going till i die. and that really scares me!
     
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Do you want to talk about the things that built up?

    I ca appreciate why you are scared, and as strange as this sounds, its good you are scared. Could you do anything to distract yourself now? Or maybe get out of the house or something like that? Or, even better, call your CPN and have a chat with him/her?
     
  5. toffeekitten

    toffeekitten Well-Known Member

    not really, im at school with a blade in my pocket. i saw my cpn this morning.
     
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Sometimes it cazn be hard, but try to think of the negative consequences of cutting at school, so say being caught, needing mewdical attention, stuff like that. Could you go and talk to a teacher you trust?
     
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