Firstly a big thank you to the many people who have chatted to me in my short time here. I stumbled across the site by accident while looking for a slightly different suicide topic. In 48 hours I will be leaving my family on a one way journey. An awful thing to be doing, particularly so close to the christmas that the children are so excited about. The short version of my story is that I have used money that wasn't mine and face years of prison. I used the money to cover debt accrued as a result of having to care for my unwell wife and two kids for quite a few years. This will happen on wednesday, I do not intend being around for it. My wife will cope badly on her own however there is more chance of her keeping the children if she is not claiming benefit as I have an old insurance policy which covers for suicide so she will be ok financially. Either way she will not be well mentally but having discussed it she will do her best to keep things together. Were it not for the children she would be coming with me and none of this would be a problem - in fact it would be a relief to us. I know my solution is not ideal, there is no ideal except maybe the lottery! I have of course begged etc with family and whats left of friends, most of whom have been scared away by her illness. I have been very bad, not intentionally and not for personal gain as such, we live a very modest life. Unfortunately whatever could go wrong pretty much has done which seems to be a popular story here. Came to the site looking for a partner, wrong place for that but found a lot of really good people. Thank you all.