Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Breathe, Apr 28, 2009.

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  1. Breathe

    Breathe Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure if I want to live anymore.
    I feel so empty, so hollow, have done for a few days apart from my spikes of depression and cutting.
    My future looks just as blank, it just does not seem like I have one. I try to look at my ideas, how my life is progressing at the moment but I can not find any motivation to live on, to formulate some kind of plan with my life. Its just blank.
    Would it not be simple to stop this empty life now?
  2. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest


    That's an interesting word. Unless you have the right tool for the job, simple really ain't so simple in ending this.

    But....what I would suggest is taking the time to try and find something out of life to enjoy. You know the old saying, stop and smell the flowers? Well what the means is to stop and notice the simple things in life. There's that word again, simple.

    It's spingtime here, and I have taken the time to notice the new buds and flowers on the trees. I still marvel when I see a jet fly overhead. I like it when I get stuck at the train tracks as I marvel at the train going by.

    Life is hard, full of challenges. Trust me, I know. But death is harder.
    Not so much for us, but for those we leave behind.
  3. Breathe

    Breathe Well-Known Member

    I've nearly died in accidents such as falling off the edge of a castle during a family trip. I wish I was back there, it seemed to simple to step over the edge and it was I falling for 1 second before a hand lunged out of the window and grabbed me.
    And I have technically died a few times when I was barely months old, I was a intensive care baby who stopped breathing numerous times.

    I just want this emptiness to stop, nothing seems to stop it apart from cutting but I do not want a arm of scars and the relief does not last for long. I put things off, going to get kicked off my course if I carry on that way and things I used to enjoy are not that appealing and I do not find any enjoyment in them if I do try them. If I do find enjoyment I soon loose it and back to the emptiness I cant deal with the mood swings that lead to it also.
  4. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    Why do you not find enjoyment in things you used to? Is it just boredom?

    I think one of the best ways in dealing with depression is staying busy. I find when im not busy i wonder and wonder and wonder and wonder and its the circle of "what if" constantly in my head and constantly asking what the point of life is...

    Do i really need to be thinking about this all the time if its just giong to depress me? I find that when im busy and occupied in something i enjoy or can fnid a rhythm in (manual labor or something) than i can keep my mind on other things and sort of recharge. Try drawing or picking up an instrument or reading or serving at a homeless shelter.

    You have to see the silver lining in everything as much as possible for things to not seem so mundane and boring. Its not so hard once you get into the habit of doing it (and i really believe you can make it a habit). You cant expect to be happy if you cant find happiness in things. You cnat expect to see if you have your eyes closed.

    Obviously you're always giong to have ups and downs but if you can find a way out of one rut you can find a way out of another.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Are you on meds?? One of the meds I take is for mood swings and it helps..I found out the hard way.. I ran out early a while back and I was a real jerk towards those who love me.. Once I got back on my med I was o.k. again.. So I would recommend you talk to your shrink about this..
  6. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    That could have been from the sudden lack of the medication entering your system causing an imbalance. Hence if you ever choose to go off the meds ween yourself off very slowly. but dont give the medication THAT much credit :p

    But this is good advice. If you are not on medication you should talk to your primary care doctor or a psych/shrink and see if you truly have a chemical imbalance and medication might help you. But in my opinion doctors are too quick to scratch out a prescription...its a very big business and in my experience i was never told my doctor had a plan that i would be off the medication or what. Its kind of frustrating thinking youre going to have to pay for this medication the rest of your life when really you might not need it at all or for very long. Make sure you ask plenty of questions and even ask your doctor what his/her long term plan is as far as the medication use (of course this is dependant on how you respond but say assuming you respond well...how long does your docotr plan to havey ou on the meds? etc...
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 30, 2009
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