Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jonah1892, Apr 30, 2009.

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  1. jonah1892

    jonah1892 Member

    Have ended up here as a last resort to be honest with you. It has just got to the point where i feel worthless and don't want to continue this life anymore

    Life started turning to shit around 3 years ago when my ex girlfriend accused me of raping her, the police case lasted around 9 months which ended up not being charged and she was done for wasting police time. However even though now people know i didn't do it i lost alot of friends and family in one case while this was going on. Even now i still can't go out that much as i see people i knew back then and they still have that same look when they see me as they did back then, the stigma attached to it lasts forever

    The one family member who disowned me was my dad, bit of a back story to this. Parents split up when i was 4 there was contact but it faded out as he was getting married again and they were starting to foster kids, around 6 months before the ex accused me of this we started talking again due to a death in the family. Things were fine then all this came out and he didn't want me as a son and that was the last thing i heard from him.

    Also because of all this business with the ex i couldnt get a job as it had to be disclosed to potential employers as an ongoing case, 3 years later I am still out of work due to this as no one here is willing to take on someone out of work for this long at my age.

    Then last year the one close friend I had who i spoke to about everything was killed out in Iraq. Around 6 months later my uncle was killled in Afghanistan and then 2 months later my other uncle was killed out there.

    I have been to the docs and he has put me on anti-depression tablets, which aren't working and we're trying different dosages and types. But don't feel entirley comfortable talking there.

    All that has built up to today where i just dont feel like i can carry on any longer, I can't sleep as i dream about the past, i stay awake i think about the past, and it is driving me insane as i am constantly thinking about everything and i'm starting to feel like there is only one way to stop the hurt, feelings and to stop thinking. Because of everything that has gone on everyone deserted me, so i have no one else to talk to
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I hope you'll keep talking here. I know it's not the same as having someone there with you to talk to, but there are lots of people here who will listen and let you know they care.
  3. jonah1892

    jonah1892 Member

    Thanks WildCherry, like i said i have no where else to turn, just nice to be in an enviroment where someone is willing to listen to me
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I know; sometimes it helps just to know you're being listened to, and that there's someone there. Talk as much as you want to.
  5. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend


    i know how it feels to have nowhere else to turn.

    i have found amazing support here at s.f., and i hope you do, as well.
    here we will listen to you, we understand how you feel, and we accept you

    you can pm me if you want to talk. . . . thanks for opening up and sharing, and i hope you continue to reach out here and let us support you until you feel stronger. . . :hug:
  6. jonah1892

    jonah1892 Member

    feel like absolute shit today, lowest i have felt, only had around 8 hours sleep all week, doc won't give me anything to help me sleep as he feels i could be addicted to them, dunno what to do, turning to drink more and more to help me see myself through each day, want to end this pain
    Last edited by a moderator: May 2, 2009
  7. jonah1892

    jonah1892 Member

    I must have peace and this is the only way

  8. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Was wondering how you are doing today, Jon...so unfair what you have been through...please feel free to PM me if I can be there for you...big hugs, J
  9. jonah1892

    jonah1892 Member

    nice to know out of all the people in the world, one person cares
  10. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    Hi :hug: I am sorry you are suffering so much. I am about if you need to talk at all

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