4th in 2 weeks

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Doxic, Dec 19, 2010.

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  1. Doxic

    Doxic Member

    He's my fourth friend to try to commit suicide in the past 2 weeks. And this time, it definitely was my fault. WHAT THE FUCK GOD?!?!? The world is crumbling.

    He had been flirting with me the past few days, and then we went to a party. At the party, I hooked up with another guy, and when my friend saw, he stomped out. I didn't react as I should have. I should have gone after him. I sent him a message the next day explaining myself - how, although I thought that my friend was attractive and great, I didn't want to be in a relationship with him b/c I always seem to fuck up relationships, and I valued him too much as a friend. He said that it wasn't a problem. He asked me how I was doing. Every day, he would ask me if I was okay. And I told him to stop asking. I told him that I was okay. And I asked him if he was okay. And he told me that he was. He told me. He lied to me to my face! I should have been able to tell.

    How am I supposed to react to everyone I love wanting to be dead?
    Why is this happening? How can I be expected to deal with this?
     
  2. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    It's not your fault that he attempted suicide, suicide is NEVER anyone else's fault. When someone says they are okay, we as humans try to believe them. We /shouldn't/ be able to tell if they are lying, it never works that way.

    These people you know need some extra support, and if they all know each other then it could be a result of chain-reaction suicide.
    Are you seeing a professional about any of this?
     
  3. Doxic

    Doxic Member

    yes, I am...or an almost professional. Most of them don't know each other. It's just madness.
     
  4. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Has that almost-professional been helping you with this?
     
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    We cannot control the behavior of others under usual circumstances...as painful as this is, and as ashamed you might feel having done what you did, there were many other reasons your friend felt unstable enough to do something so drastic...I hope you find a way to not hurt yourself...the pain you are going through having lost so many people is enough to cope with...please PM me if I can be there for you...big hugs, J
     
  6. Doxic

    Doxic Member

    Yeah, the person is helping a little. I also have a mentor to help me deal with other things.

    Thanks Sadeyes / J. You are an angel.
     
  7. luka

    luka Active Member

    hey whats up, first of all, dont be sad, its not up to you what he does, hes the one that needs help, the only thing you can do is to support you


    sometimes you gotta be selfish and think about yourself first, do what you love and dont let anybody tell you what you can or cannot do :)

    your a great person and youd make a fantastic friend and you were right about not going in a bf/gf relationship with him, it does sometimes stuff up relationships and friends

    if i was your friend id rather be your friend then not being in your life at all

    he should be blessed and so are you

    please reply wiht soe updates

    -luka
     
  8. Doxic

    Doxic Member

    Waiting for him to get out of the hospital. Hopefully, he'll get back b4 I have to head home tomorrow. I'm feeling a little better about it. At least he's going to be okay. Life can go on. Things can heal. Thanks people. This site saves lives, I swear.
     
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