5 Days Of Turmoil...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by AloneInTheDark, Aug 7, 2007.

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  1. AloneInTheDark

    AloneInTheDark Well-Known Member

    For the last 5 days my life has gone from okay, to desperate.... I have suddenly fallen back into deep depression, drinking heavy all day for 5 day, infact I am right now... For the first time in over a year and a half I cut myself... Not a few times... over 400 times... I got in an arguement with my mum, and actually beat her up.. I guess thats why I cut myself.. after that I beat my ex-girlfriend up...

    I threatened a "mate" who upset me.. I humiliamted him like this world has humiliated me!! I beat him, nearly unconcious.. stripped him naked and made him run round the field. I hurt my mum again yesterday, threw a bin at her... I spent the night before last on my own drinking on a motorway bridge.. on the edge, but I'm to much of a COWARD!! to jump... I spent 3 hours with my belt around my neck, tied to fencing.. All I had to do was fucking lean forward!!

    I have become so angry, so violent, so down, I havnt gone to work for the last 2 days. I have emptied my account for over 500 pounds and given it to friends, then said they didn't want it.. I said I would burn it then! I don't need money where I'm going... I'm out on bail at the moment, due to all this fucked up behaviour, I don't even know who I am anymore! I'm lost my mind, all self control.. Or will to live..

    This is going to end.. and it will be messy....
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Get yourself to a hospital/doctors and demand to be sectioned. You need to be somewhere safe hun and pronto. Probably need to dry out as well.
    Demand some help :hug:
     
  3. AloneInTheDark

    AloneInTheDark Well-Known Member

    I went to the doctors yesterday. She said she would refer me to rehab and also to my old self-harm/solvent abuse counciller, and the mental health hospital i would go to, havn't made a descision as to whether i will go yet, I know I need help, but it's so hard when you have already given up, been through all the processes before or treatment, meds and talking and landed back where you started 2 years later.. :sad:
     
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