A month ago was my Fifth Anniversary since the Old me died and I was Born Again. Here is the original story: http://www.suicideforum.com/showthre...g-)&highlight= Here is my 2 years later update: http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?118238-2-Years-later&highlight= 4 years later update: https://www.suicideforum.com/threads/4-years-later.135260/ Today, I am writing an update to let you know that things can change. I got my children back with full custody, I've been giving them good memories and a peaceful happy life, they stopped taking depression medication and seeing the psychiatrist, still in therapy to heal, doing much better at school. Happy at work, but not my real passion. My oil paintings I've been working on, are finally of professional quality, will try to market them soon, this is my real passion. I have been taking a great effort to become authentic, real and genuine, this has being a great adventure and life changing experience, I am able to connect with people at a much deeper level, I don't pretend or manipulate others, I am positive, happy, doing my things, being myself. I am very active with friends and my children, beach, bonfires, parties, concerts. I'm doing Yoga, Beach Volleyball, running, walking the dog for few miles a day. The women I date are nicer as I keep growing myself, the more negative or messed up I was, the more negative and messed up people I was only able to attract or have relationships with, the more authentic I become, the nicer the people I attract (and there is no need to fake, pretend or manipulate, actually, quite the opposite). Dating is hard and I'm learning as I grow, you have to learn to not being manipulated, sometimes you think you are in love when it's an obsession and sometimes you are falling in love and your heart is broken, anyway, I take it as lessons, to be in a better relationship every time. Money is tight, but I'm able to save, although things keep coming up and money goes away. I have to get back into giving to others that need more than I do. I contacted a financial advisor and started taking financial classes, hopefully my finances start to improve. Spiritually I'm also growing, joined a Christian church and few of their activities, hoping to visit people at jail and orphanages soon. I told my daughter (15) my attempt story as she was very sad and it gave her lots of peace as she never understood why I gave them to their mother. At home I still struggle with the chores and cleaning up, I guess I am a bit depressed, but started going to therapy few months back and it's helping me deal with this, the children, myself, relationships, etc. Life is not easy, I am tired, it is though seeing the money disappear (specially after promising myself we would never run out of money again 5 years ago), the children turn mean when they are angry, friends come and go, work is not where I want to be, had some very controlling and manipulative relationships, but... Life is good and I decide to love life, enjoying every second of it, as if today and tomorrow were not supposed to exist for me.