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5 years. Please tell me something will change...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Shock, Oct 2, 2008.

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  1. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    Its faltering again. Yesterday i spent all day in bed for the first time in ages. I just no longer heve the energy to keep running ahead of this dark cloud...for lack of a better metaphor. Works slowing down and I cant stand being around people anymore yet im so lonley. There just seems nothing better i can do then to stay in bed.

    I mean for the last 5 years Ive gotten up everyday despite my body and mind screaming at me to stay in bed. Everyday I tried so hard to work and be fun and social and to try and treat and cure the depression. Im just soo tired now I cant fight for much longer.

    Its been 5 years. 5 long years of fighting this. Ive tried so many medications, seen so many councellors, but 5 years on and still nothing has changed. Can someone please give me a reason to start fighting it again? Im so fucking sd and lonely and tired....
  2. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    The reason you need is within your own self. All that kept you going is inside you and you proved it by going on about your life no matter how unsuccessfull have been treatment yet your own will not to be flattered by events and feelings. Pull up all you've got within and work hard at beating the beast but seek help to achieve this. Your feelings are all to well known and you are too valuable to give in.

    best of luck

    be well and stay safe
    granny x
  3. Try 14 years, i get only solely for the reason i do not want to be yelled at.
    i live a life in which everything i do is for someone else so i dont have someone yelling at me, is it a life to live? no, do i do it anyway, yes. Why because i am a spineless worthless piece of crap who doesnt have the balls to kill himself.
    So i suck it up i try to have as little interactions with people as possible because like you i cannot stand others. And unfortunately i am forced to work with others. So everything hangs in the balance of other peoples influence and there is nothing you can do. I personally am saving up all the money i can to move away from everyone i know, because i know i can survive in my minimalist fashion once i get the funds together. Maybe just road trip across the country until i find a small town where the cost of living is low and i can take a job doing something minimal where i can get by and just live out the rest of my days.

    Sometimes its the simple things that are worth living for.
  4. Demi

    Demi Member

    I am exactly like you, hate being with people and yes I also wish to move away as far as possible where no one will be able to interfere with me

    14 years of depression and still nothing really is...discouraging. Especially when I can really relate.

    things don't really get better huh
  5. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hi Shock, I feel I can really empethize with you here. I too have been suffering from depression for about 5 years and sometimes it's hard to remember how life used to be. It seems such an eternity. That day by day struggle. Always trying to keep ahead of that black cloud and sometimes not being able to. But wouldn't it be a waste to give up now after going through 5 years of fighting. Day by day is the way I'm coping at the moment and each day I survive I say to myself well done. I know how tiring it is and I'm sorry to hear you're finding it such a struggle at the moment but keep at it. Change is the one constant in this world so don't give up on the thought that one day things will change for you. Best of luck. Keep fighting.
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