50 years is a long time to suffer and I am running out of therapies to try.

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#1
The first time I thought of hurting myself was when I was five. I have been in psychotherapy for 40 years and been on various med cocktails for 20. Seven months ago my psychiatrist took me off of Abilify, because I started to develop Tardive Dyskinesia. Neurofeedback didn't work. ECT no longer works for me. Everything I read about TMS sounds negative. I don't have any faith that medicinal marijuana will work.

This leaves surgery. VNS only works in 17% of cases. This leaves psychosurgery like DBS and cigulotomy. I would rather be dead than to have something go wrong in brain surgery.

So I am looking at [method deleted]. I don't know if I have the balls to do it. If something goes wrong, I am afraid I will end up a vegetable.

Life sucks and I don't know what to do. I have worked hard on getting better, but I am still sick and I still have symptoms. Not sure what there is to live for.
 

WildCherry

Owner Emeritus
#2
First of all, welcome to the site.

I'm really sorry for what you're going through. As much as I wish I had some suggestions, at the moment I don't. Just replying to let you know someone cares, and to offer a listening ear if you need someone to talk to.
 
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