50 years is a long time to suffer and I am running out of therapies to try.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GatesofDawn67, Jun 24, 2016.

  1. GatesofDawn67

    GatesofDawn67 New Member

    The first time I thought of hurting myself was when I was five. I have been in psychotherapy for 40 years and been on various med cocktails for 20. Seven months ago my psychiatrist took me off of Abilify, because I started to develop Tardive Dyskinesia. Neurofeedback didn't work. ECT no longer works for me. Everything I read about TMS sounds negative. I don't have any faith that medicinal marijuana will work.

    This leaves surgery. VNS only works in 17% of cases. This leaves psychosurgery like DBS and cigulotomy. I would rather be dead than to have something go wrong in brain surgery.

    So I am looking at [method deleted]. I don't know if I have the balls to do it. If something goes wrong, I am afraid I will end up a vegetable.

    Life sucks and I don't know what to do. I have worked hard on getting better, but I am still sick and I still have symptoms. Not sure what there is to live for.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    First of all, welcome to the site.

    I'm really sorry for what you're going through. As much as I wish I had some suggestions, at the moment I don't. Just replying to let you know someone cares, and to offer a listening ear if you need someone to talk to.