i don't want to live this life anymore. the people i know are better off without me. i have nothing to show for myself, even my own boyfriend doesn't give fuck about me. i try to tell him that i'm done with everything,but he just tells me i'm an idiot and that i need to grow up. things like that just encourage me to want do die even more. i've had thoughts of suicide throughout the years, but obviously haven't attempted just yet. i don't know how much more i can handle before i actually do end up doing something.