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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by camncheese, Jul 29, 2009.

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  1. camncheese

    camncheese New Member

    Ok so I'm 18. From the time I was 12 untill this year I had 0 girlfriends, I had a hook up every now and then but never anything serious.

    So this February I met this amazing beautiful girl who lives just right down the street from me, I've known her for a while but it's a wierd situation.

    Anyways, we hit it off right away and we started dating about 2 weeks later. Everything(to me) was going great, I was the happiest i had ever been, literally. So then she starts getting me to goto her youth group...not a big deal, I mean, I'm not exactly a christian but it's whatever. So at her youth group there's this guy named Quencie, and her and him would text every now and then, but I didn't think anything of it because she was always texting someone. Anyways, so about a month into this I've noticed they've ben flirting way too much, and I feel the walls crumbling around me. Sure enough she goes on this youth convention trip over a weekend, comes back, breakes up with me of course.

    Well at first I just wanted to die, I couldn't understand what was wrong with me, what I did wrong. Almost immediatly she starts dating him, which makes me feel like she never cared anyway. Which honestly she probobly didn't, she was in a good mood when she broke up with me. Anyways at first it was awkward, I really didn't talk to her at all. But then after a few weeks I started hanging out with her all the time and we became best friends, which is a bad way to describe the relationship because we were even closer than when we dated. Regardless, so we stayed real tight all this Summer, hung out every day, I would even sleep with her (Not sexually). So that kept up for a long while, and just recently she break up with him because the whole time he treated her badly. Which kind of made me feel worse, she didn't even give me a second chance, yet she put up with so much from him. It made me feel like I wasn't worth anyones time..

    So I thought I stood a good chance of getting her back, but as usual, I'm an idiot. We started hanging out more at my house with my friends, and lucky me! She falls for my best friend.. which makes me feel even more worthless, because all the excuses she gave me for breaking up with me are the same problems he has. I obviously just wasn't worth it.. So anyways they're together now, and I feel like I've lost 2 best friends.

    Whenever I'm around them I get the sharpest pain in my chest, it's unbearable. I'm holding back tears constantly just thinking about all of this.. I don't understand why i waited 6 years only to be crushed, why would this happen to me? Why would the most perfect situation come around just for me to ruin it.. I just feel like dieing, she's a diabetic and everytime I'm at her house I have to keep myself from injecting myself with insulin.

    This is us..
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey the problem i see here is not with you at all It is with the girl she obivioulsly does not know at this young age what she wants from a guy so continues to search You should do the same get out and meet people and forget about her she is not interested so you need to move on to better things. You need someone who truly does care for you and at 18 there are many ways to get out and be social Take course at college meet people there join a club do something you enjoy and meet people that enjoy it as well. Take your time trying to hook up with one person as your friend is doing she is trying the field to find the right person so must you.
  3. christian_1990

    christian_1990 Well-Known Member

    just date girls for fun and sex....dont believe in love bullshit......man up
  4. sweetpea0

    sweetpea0 Well-Known Member

    I agree with Mary. You need to find someone you can love and will love you back. I know it's not easy to just go out and find someone. But get yourself interested in something. Work on your life.
  5. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    welcome to sf Cameron :hug: i'm sorry things aren't good right now
    i hope you find all the help and support you need here :smile:
    relationships can be incredibly hard and people aren't always rational when love is involved
    i hope things get better for you xx
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