I don't really want sympathy. im not even sure i want advice. ive just started a new year at uni. last year was a one year course and it didnt turn out so good. i ended up not having many friends and being a shy person i blamed that. This year i have been much more confident than usual and have made a few acquantainces, but everyone else seems to have already made proper friends and cliques. I find it very hard to talk to girls. i recently broke up with my boyfriend which i dont regret, we had a very happy relationship. im currently sleeping with my flatmate. hes a nice guy. im not all that good on my course, i do illustration and everyone else can actually draw. i used to have some sort of feeling of self worth and self..believe? but thats gone now. i care very little about what happens to me on a daily basis. i dont think im at the state of committing suicide. ive cut myself a couple of times but its mainly through guilt of hurting someone else. i probably need to go see someone but im not great at opening up and telling people how i feel. i just thought id give a non-direct approach a go. i dont feel like ive got nobody to talk to, i just think life is futile. this is probably very selfish of me, but i dnt really care. if im going to feel this low every day for the rest of my life then what is the point? im so scared to let myself stop and think because i can feel myself heading on a downward spiral. my flatmate isnt going to be here for most of next week and im terrified of being alone in my flat with nothing to distract me. i just feel pointless.