Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by itmahanh, Nov 3, 2009.

  1. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I dont know who I am anymore. I dont know my own feelings anymore. I dont even know if I know my own sexuality anymore!!!!!!! So I let myself think with my heart instead of head. I said what I wanted to say and what I thought you needed to hear. I thought I had finally figured out the big question. I thought it felt right. Guess I was completely wrong again. I'm not even worthy of that. '[p0tjuhy9lom'AWUOy';awy0- Why did this weekend have to end up being just another attenmpt. Just fucking let me die and be over with all this shit already!!!! I'm tired of being hurt by life and love.

    I want to scream til it drains me right out. I want to hurt myself for being so stupid. I want to die!!!!!!!!
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Saying what I want to say and what another needs to hear is a big challenge for me. Most of the time I feel awful afterward, afraid I messed things up. It's getting easier to do because I've learned that it's okay if the other person gets mad or starts a guilt trip. The important thing is to be true to myself, the things I've learned about life, and what my needs are. It is the other persons responsibility to learn how to work through life when someone says something they don't want to hear. Sometimes, it's the best thing we can do for another person.

  3. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Are you sure you got it wrong though?
  4. Ordep

    Ordep Well-Known Member

    When you're lonely and there are only a few people that will at least keep you company, sometimes all we want to do is say what we think they wanna hear, for fear that they may get angry at us for saying the wrong thing and go away, leaving us alone.

    I know it's a strong temptation, but you must fight in neverthless, we must always be ourselves, if our opinions anger our friends so much that they'd just abandon us to our fates, then they probably aren't that much of friends to begin with. But I'm a firm believer that most of the time, our fear about this issue is unfounded.

    About you not knowing who you are, not knowing the situation that made you cause this, I can only say that you won't find any good answers while hot-headed. Whatever is going on, I say just give it a rest and let your mind clear, once you're more calm, I'm sure the right answer will be just before your eyes.

    Take care Carla, know that we're always here for ya. You can also PM me anytime, but you already know that by now :tongue: