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6 Months Later, On the Dot

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by ~Drew~, Feb 6, 2010.

  1. ~Drew~

    ~Drew~ Member

    If you recall a previous thread that I posted, I said that my ex had made an attempt at suicide.

    http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?t=65126 He broke up with me the following month.

    I wont blame him for this we all have breakdowns... and we all do stupid things. He faked this so I would give him attention. He was feeling insignificant, and useless.

    He broke up with me because I called the authorities, fearing he might actually do something and I not be there to help.... I can understand how it hurt him and why he would do it. However wrong he was for it... however right I was, it doesnt matter.

    As of July 4th he broke up with me.
    February 4th, he got together with another friend.

    I've done what I can to get over him.... I know more time will help, but...

    What really confuses me is that he kept giving me all these mixed messages.
    Stuff like
    "Be happy with what we have now" but three minutes later he'd say "If things get better between us we'll see." He told me this just two weeks ago!

    He told me he wouldn't date this guy because he is six years older then older then him. He's dating him now.

    He also doesn't think it will last longer then a few months. He also didn't sound happy about it when I asked him.

    I asked him flat out; "Are you seeing him now?"
    His reply was. "Yeah... I don't think it will last long, I give it 6 months"
    I asked why would he be so pessimistic about it.
    "It's none of your business" was his reply.

    He hasn't said anything to his friends on his social networking sites. Where as his current boyfriend is plastering it everywhere.

    These mixed messages, and signs have me very confused... I don't know what to think of all this. Ive gone to relationship forums it's all the same.
    "Forget him! He moved on, he's week minded!" Those sorts of thoughts are... more then likely why said members spend time there hoping from lover to lover.

    I'd love to have this person back, I know it might not ever happen. More then likely... it wont. The man he is with, is alot like me... but better

    I mean literally... this guy does EVERYTHING I do
    I'm an electronica DJ, so is he.
    He sounds like me.
    Talks like me.
    Says the same things I used to.
    I text my ex when hes on his way out to work/class, so does this guy.
    He has the same fetishes.. even, which my ex is into.

    But, this guy is... much better then I am. Thats just a fact, not me seeing it that way.
    He is educated, and is going to go back to school. Worse, he is going to school to be in the same career field as my ex aspires to be. Thats a hard thing to live up to.

    I have to face it, the last few months have been hell for me and it frustrates my ex, because I used to be a happy, nice, bubbly person. Now Im depressive, mean, and rather... gray.

    Since loosing him I have lost my home, my job, my family has fallen to pieces, and a good number of my friends have left me because of my depressive behaviors.

    I know not to dwell on the past, I know to move on. Yeah, I can settle for friendship... but its not what I want.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 6, 2010
  2. ~Drew~

    ~Drew~ Member

    Lemme add onto this.
    Is wanting him back, and trying to (in a healthy way) get close to him again wrong on my part?

    Or should I give it up and find another.
  3. Minni

    Minni Member

    Dear Drew,
    seeing that your ex-boyfriend has chosen someone similar to you means that he obviously still has feelings for the person you are. But know that this new guy is never the same as you. He will never have the same character traits as you do. He is different. And whether that is good or bad, I am in no position to judge.
    You know the answers, my friend. You want him back. You are still stuck in the past. And you also know it's not easy to move on.
    Wanting him back and trying to get close to him...is not a bad thing. But the question is: Are you strong enough to stand your ground around him and his current boyfriend?
    What is right or wrong is entirely your decision. You have to know what it is that you want for yourself.
    Do you want a fresh start and regaining your strength? Or do you want to wait until your ex is ready to come back to you and then try to keep the relationship going, while knowing you will turn into a total frenzy attempting to do this?
    Whatever you choose: It comes with pain and great will power.
    There is no answer to whether decisions are right or wrong. The consequences are what we have to live with. So consider the consequences and choose wisely.

    Personally, I knew what I would do in your place. But my opinion on what you have to do, is of no importance. Because it's your life. And not mine.

    I hope I could help you a little bit.
    Have a nice day.
  4. ~Drew~

    ~Drew~ Member

    Well things get stranger, about 5 or so days ago he informed me that he isnt actually seeing this guy... and they are faking it cause of these old friends and stalkers he has.... (he has a lot of them)
  5. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    Sounds like he's keeping you on the back burner for back up. He's manipulating you so that whenever he wants to hook up with you you will be at him beck and call. He's playing you. Fuck him. Just my opinion based on what you wrote. The lies, the mixed messages, the flip flop statements and bullshit...I think you know the truth already and you shouldn't put up with that bullshit.