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Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ASkylitDrive, Jan 29, 2010.

  1. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    I feel a wave of emotions right now.
    I didn't even know him well, but now its hit me hard.
    I feel angry, upset, anxious, violent.
    I just want to scream until my lungs give out.
    I want to bang myself into walls and I don't care who hears me.
    I need to be strong for my friend...but I can't and it just hurts anymore.
    I'm just a useless waste of space that needs to go die somewhere where no one can find me. Then maybe it would give room for someone more worthy of everyone's time.
    If I can't help others, why do I even exist?
     
  2. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    I feel bad for my friend.
    He must be is such bad condition....but I can't help him.
    I can't help anyone it seems.
    Either than or no one wants my help.
    I don't know.
     
  3. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    I guess its always bad timing. I'm at my moms and things go horribly wrong...and being around her makes me feel worse. Oh well. I have ideas of getting rid of the pain.
     
  4. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    I'm going to go. I've upset my friends now.
    I don't know if I'll be back, because when I think alone I get irrational.
    Good bye if anyone is reading.
     
  5. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Don't go so fast...

    I didn't catch your thread until just now.

    I'm here if you want to talk about what's going on.
     
  6. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry
     
  7. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Why? Did you do something?
     
  8. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    I'm just sorry.
     
  9. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    There's no need to be though...
     
  10. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    Yea there is.
     
  11. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    In confused...

    Can you elaborate a little more so I can try to help?
     
  12. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    I can't. I can't even think straight anymore.
     
  13. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    At least try to stay calm.
     
  14. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    Brandon I'm sorry. I fucked up.
    I tried choking myself with tihs rope wire thing...and now it hurts to breath and I feel dizzy .
     
  15. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Doing stuff like that is an easy way to get brain damage...
     
  16. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    I knew that.
     
  17. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    That's not a way to go through life... :(
     
  18. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    Well I wanted it to kill me...but it didn't work.
    David has been having me test my limps, its a bit hard to move some of them.
    If this is what happened, the gods must have given it to me to learn from.