i have caused way too much trouble now. i shouldn't have said the things i said or done the things i did but its done now. i have hurt people i care about and i would go far enough as to say people i love. i have made people want to hurt themselves and even at times want to kill themselves. if this is how i help, maybe i shoudl just quit while i'm ahead. just burn out slowly rather than having to be banned cos i've cause some shit i shouldn't have. last ight is testiment to this and i really regret coming on here but it did give me chance to talk to three people i really care about. i think i may stick it out til i get credit and am able to talk to these people again. i'm gonna have problems if i don't. i really miss tlaking to them and its really hard thinking about the horrible things i am doing. But i guess it doesn't matter anymore, does it? thanks for the rant!