!!!!!!!!!!!

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#1
Feels like everyday is a battle for me....a battle to stay alive... and i feel like i am bringing down the people i love most :(

I dont want to do this...so i guess i feel like i should just end it all now....

It just hurts so bad :cry: every day i have flashbacks...and every day i fight the urge to kill myslef....whats the point of a fight that will never end unless i end it??? :blub:
:sad:
 
#2
I wish I knew what to say Sam.
I feel the same way, what's the point of a fight that will never end? Fighting for ever just seems so futile.
The only thing I can say is, at any point during the fight so far have things gotten better? Because if they have (even just a tiny bit) then it's worth carrying on fighting, and doing whatever you can.
I've had moments, tiny tiny ones, where I thought I saw a light at the end of the tunnel.
Right now that is all that is keeping me going. But I feel like if I don't get another one of those moments soon, I'll fall too far down the tunnel to ever get close to that light again. :(
 
#3
:hug: Things just seem to get worse :cry: i really want to go for a "walk"

I cant seem to shake the feeling of wanting to die...its become like a need almost....feels like everyone would be better off without me anyways :cry:
 
#4
I can completely understand the feeling of wanting to die, it's all I think about as well, and everytime I think about it too indepth and feel like 'okay maybe I am going to go through with it, yeah this is definitely it, this is my time', I completely exhale and everything feels calm and peaceful.
That feeling just makes me think about it all the more because there's nothing else in the world that makes me feel that tranquil.

I notice a lot of people on here say that "everyone would be better off without me".
Why exactly do you say that though?
 
#6
It's okay, don't apologise. :hug: :hug:

I doubt you are doing this, your low self esteem is probably just making you feel like you are. I'm sure everybody around you loves you and cares about you and only wants to see you get better.
Do you see a counsellor/therapist/have group therapy or anything like that?
 
#7
:hug: :hug: :blub:

I go to see her tomorrow :( time to tell her everything....i just dont know if i will make it through tonight to even see her tomorrow :blub:
 
#8
Just be strong and keep talking on here, answer lots of threads, write a few, go in chat, go on msn, watch a movie. Whatever you can do hun. Definitely tell her everything tomorrow and if you feel yourself clamming up - write it down. Be strong and I am here for you if you need anything okay?
 

Wastingecho

Well-Known Member
#10
i agree with linds sam

just keep talking especially here since my stamina sucks

i'll be with you as long as i can - but once i conk out please come back to the forum

:hug:

:cheekkiss:
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#12
it is your depression making you think people would be better without you. The will not be they will be worse they will suffer greatly like you are now. I hope your therapist continues to help you so you do see that light it is there it is just covered now but it is there waiting for you to reach it. take care okay i hope each day your suffering isless.
 

IV2010

Well-Known Member
#13
I agree about telling your therapist everything Sam.....I told mine and it felt so much better to have someone know exactly what I was feeling...
I don't want you to hurt yourself....I would miss you....:hugtackles::wub:
 

mulberrypie

Well-Known Member
#15
sam :hug: you're a total sweetheart and i'm so glad youre here!! i know its hard, but youre doing great and every day is a opportunity for things to get better. xx <3
 
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