it is a lot of things, i dont want to be sick any more, i kniow alot of ppl dont view depretion as an illness but after 16 of strugling with it would cal it being very illl, that coupled with m,y living situation and my pending divorce and the fact he went a head and let me know she realy left me for my oldest dearest friend...and this contant fear of losing control and blacking out and hurting soem one...i just want to bo normal...for just one day....