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7 Billion people so how can I be alone?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SomeguyUk, Nov 24, 2012.

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  1. SomeguyUk

    SomeguyUk Active Member

    I've always stood by the fact that I am good looking, perhaps not an athletic build but I'm not fat either. I have always said I'd make it through life regardless of what happens to me. I look around and I see people laughing and smiling, I have friends but as I'm a really nice guy I believe they are just friends of opportunity as they know I will do anything for my friends. Its 3:36 am here in Leeds. Just come back from a night out. People would look my way and even smile at me yet I'm still alone. I have tried at life, So god damn hard. Partly why im so depressed, as I pour my soul into life and it yields no return. I will forever be a tool to be used by others and my sole purpose is to exist to help others.

    I love helping others but don't I deserve even a chance at happiness. If there is a god and he has a plan for me he could atleast show me that theres still a reason to live for, give me a chance at being happy to keep my morale up.

    Even though I have been out I haven't drank much, I have the keys to my car and I know the perfect place to go and end things. It's just a matter of recording my final thoughts.

    I know you will tell me to hold on, but I have been holding on, I'm a lovely guy apparently but turns out that will get you nowhere when you look at society.

    I'll hang around for a bit see what people have to say on the matter, as I always like to here other people opinions.

    So my final words:
    I love the world and the people in it, sadly fate has decided that as a human I shall feel pain and unhappiness. I will walk down the street with a genuine smile on my face, only to be greeted by blank faces and even odd looks. Perhaps it is selfish to end things when my sole existence is to make other happy, don't get me wrong I love to make others happy I take a great deal of joy from it. Sadly this isn't enough, I do my best but when I wake up in the morning I see a empty place in my bed. I eat alone, drink alone and sleep alone yet I have many friends. A common misconception is that having friends and people around you means you are happy and not alone, I wish this was the case. Nobody thinks of my as their priority in life, nobody cares deeply for me other that my Mother and Father along with some family whom I love greatly. But I am a blood relative so they have to love me haha. If anything was going to stop me from checking out it would be my family.

    I may not believe in a God or higher power but I do not believe that death is the end. Religion limits the beauty and complexity of this Earth and the universe. I could sit at watch nature live its day if it wasn't for the thought in the back of my mind that we were destroying our world slowly. From Gaza to America I see the corruption and lies people spread for their own gain, as they say it all boils down to greed, the want of things we do not need.

    Moving on from the politics of mankind, there is still hope for the world. Perhaps not this side of the century but its still there, something to work towards. Who knows what is in store for me at the end, I can only wish that one day in the far off future that I shall greet you on the other side. To all who still wonder why I want to end things I shall say this: "A man only needs one thing in life. He just needs someone to love." Yes you can get by with a purpose or goal in mind which I have done, sadly I haven't got the will to just exist any more. A statistic for the History books.

    One can hope that these words may make things clearer. To whoever is reading this and feels they are down on their luck too. Reflect on your life and find your tether to this world, be it a loved one, something you love or even someone you know. Hold onto that with your life and pour your soul into it.

    I'm struggling to find words to end this but I shall not die in vain. I can only hope that in the end my death with give life to others.

    Thankyou for taking the time to read, (TLDR; It been a pleasure yet its time to move on.)
  2. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi honey, thank you for your post. I agree that you really are a great guy and deserving of great happiness, and it still can be yours hun, don't let the depression get you down. I'm not saying you must stick around for the benefit of others, to stop them from the trauma your offing would cause them - I'm saying, that if you absolutely came face-2-face with the real truth about our existence, it would all come into a new perspective for you and you would understand (with time) your mind of this moment.
    I had done the same, given it my all - and more, and it still wasn't enough. There was something missing that, try as hard as I could to find it, just wasn't there. BUT - after my attempt (I really do not advise this route) things are working out the best yet.
    Though, please do not compare your notes with mine, we are all different. Except, the principles that govern life are the same for us all. It is true, hun - God does have a plan for you, the reason you were created to live.

    I know that sometimes we get to the place where we cannot see the resources with which to do it. The "love bubble" has been popped and leaked out leaving nothing.

    It is still not the end, there is more..... deeper insight and understanding. You do not have to be reduced to just another statistic for the History books. The world's system that history records is incapable of giving us or teaching us what we really need in order to thrive. Don't let it get you - we can live another way.

    I am asking you, as one of the unknown 7 billion (but one who does care) to discover this other way. PM box always open, and I can send you details of the best counsellor on the planet who can help you through this time, hun. Your life is worth it, I promise you, it is :)
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