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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SSDD, Sep 16, 2006.

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  1. SSDD

    SSDD Member

    Hey
    New here, I don’t know why im posting on a forum, I guess I need to tell people, even though I don’t know anyone here.

    basically, I want to commit suicide, but I cant :sad: I tried it about 4 years ago, being woken up by my mum crying, I cant ever do it again, it makes me feeling like shit for doing it, im probly going to hell for that day, but I just cant do it to my family.

    but I want to, im not happy with my life, I haven’t been for at least 8 years, I have the odd nice week, but I lack something, I had no goals, I don’t know what to do, ive never had a relationship with a girl (pathetic I know) and I don’t know why, maybe its because I don’t show any confidence in myself, because I have none.

    funny thing is to my friends everything seems fine to them, im in a good band, have a job and go college, just if I mention any of my problems, no one listens to me, I just get called "emo" how funny is that. I am just never happy with my life, people say things get better, but no, they do NOT. its like they say it just to try and give you hope, I even remember my best friend telling me this about 7 years ago things will get better, but nothings changed in my life, all my friends are going somewhere, meeting new people, starting their own life. I just can’t seem to get anyway, im afraid if this keeps going on, if I meet someone, ill be too depressed to even talk to them. its already starting, everything I try at I fail because of this, I think I would be better just vanishing and not hurting any of my family like I did before, I hate this life I have.

    Sorry about moaning and all, I know people have it worst off, sorry.
     
  2. SSDD

    SSDD Member

    i guess no one does care :sad:
     
  3. I care :hug: sorry - I have been offline.... I am here if you ever need to chat - feel free to PM or anything that may help :hug:
    xxx
     
  4. Fylgje

    Fylgje New Member

    I care.

    I just dont quite know what to say.
    I dont have i quick fix to these problems.

    But i found out, that if i started to focus on the things i like in this world i would feel better.
    Like nature, take a walk in the forest, i feel at home there.
    My dogs, they are really good listeners you know.

    Just small things that make me happy, and my worries will be chased away from the good energy i get from those things.

    If there are anything in your life your not content whit, that you can fix, start a prodject and fix them.
    I stared online-school to become a paramedic, still working on the "manage to open my self to new people" its hard...

    Do anything and focus on things you CAN fix, and maybe the depressive feelings will have to move to the back of the line?

    what im trying to say here is, keep your self occupied whit things you like.
    :smile:
     
  5. SSDD

    SSDD Member

    thanks for the reply's

    guess i shouldnt have said no one cares hehe i didnt mean it :sad:

    i try to focus on the good things, but the bad thing is there arnt many, tbh right now i cant think of any really, maybe a few, but it doesnt really help me get by when theres always arguments going on.

    your right in trying somthing new though, i start college soon hopfully that will make things better, or maybe it will just be like last year how i didnt really speak to anyone outside my classes, /sigh we shall see..
     
  6. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Just wanted ya to know SSDD, sometimes it takes a while for people to post here, its just that we have our own lives to life, we are also struggling with depression like you, some of us maybe even trying to commit suicide while you are waiting for a reply, scary huh?
    Sorry we couldn't reply earlier and if you felt ignored.
    Hey, wanted to let you know I'm 19, pathetic, haven't been with a girl yet either, probably never will either, just to let you know you aren't alone there buddy. I also have no friends either at college, no social life, everybody freaking else is having dozens of friends and having so much fun, all I do is just study and play on my computer, how pathetic...sigh. At least you got a job, are in an extracurricular activity and have friends.
     
  7. SSDD

    SSDD Member

    yeah like i said i didnt mean it, just at the time felt really down beaten.

    well i know theres people like me, i dont think anyone is ever unique in situations but i understand, do you feel the same? or do you feel happy with life that things will get beter, i kinda want to kill myself alot of the times, but like i said i just cant deal with the guilt, i still feel bad about befor, i just wish i was happy.
     
  8. blub

    blub Guest

    Feel the same. Your story looks a bit like mine. I don't think my life will get any better. I really want to kill myself, but thinking about the situation my family and friends will go through keeps me here. I just don't want to hurt them.
     
  9. SSDD

    SSDD Member

    yeah it is hard not wanting to hurt them, but im starting to feel like they might be better off, i guess there is no hope anymore in my world.

    just started college today, its just exactly the same as usally, i drove home early since its just full of assholes and i find it boring, so i can either start full time work or do somthing i find really boring, i just dont know what to do, there is NO hope of anything getting better any time soon :(
     
  10. joce

    joce Active Member

    SSDD, I've been in bed all afternoon thinking about suicide and feeling that the neighbours are talking about me. I do care and think you are great to manage so much - it must take a great deal of effort to keep up some semblance of normality. Sorry no one wants to know. Just log on here and write how you're feeling. Sometimes If you just give up hope and accept that life is crap, that helps. It's alright to say to your family look I can't cope and maybe someone will help. There really is no quality care for people who are deeply depressed - I suppose they just don't know what to do with us. I don't think you're a loser.
     
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