have sat here night after night after night staring at my one way ticket out of here knowing that once it would be done then i would be free and yet am still here!!!! at times the pain in my heart is so piercing and strong and then a numbness takes over when i cant feel anything but dont want to feel anything. i shouldnt even be thinking this way i have a daughter, she needs me I have family andfriends who need me and yet all i can think about is eternal sleep and freedom. i dont think i can take much more of this. am sure my daughter will have a better life without me in it. they are there right infront of me, the resolution to all the shit is right there.