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Discussion in 'Let it all out...' started by cthulhu, Sep 18, 2006.

  1. cthulhu

    cthulhu Well-Known Member

    i ahve debated posting this rant, i was conserned it may bruss feealings, i have desided i dont realy care, i need to vent, if ppl dotn like it, well deleet the thread...here it goes

    i am so fucking sick of hearing "you dont understand"....for fucks sake, was i not a 14 year old with grave problems, was i spawned as is from the voide?....i am never helping another soul again aas long as i fucking live, aperantly i am just a moron that couldnt posibly understand what its like to be told you are evil vile and a burden on your family through your entire chilfd hood, or to hate you self so much that you would rather kill your self than look in the mirror...i will never understand what its like to be abused and have noone to turn to, i will never understand what its like tyo see your self and only see this hidiouse monster that has no fucking value, i cant understand what its like to not want to live, or the pain of being hated by everyone around you, good lord no, i didnt want to die from the first time i understood what death ment, or hurt my self to make the pain go away, or slamed my head in a door for 30 min just to make the thoughts of harming and killing the one i loved, or puting a cigeret out on my arm so would remeber not to trust my friends ever again, or taking drugs to just get to sleep cause i hadnt slept in 2 weeks, no i couldnt comprehend what its like to wake up and be disapointed that i was still alive, no no no, i am just another in a long line fo ppl that have no clue as to what "real" pain is, or what it "realy meens to hate your self...or hate who you are, or not even have a fucking cluee who i am , no i havnt walked in the shadows so long that i can barly remeber what it is to love and be loved, i dont have agoraphobia so bad i cant even leave my house to find a fucking job, or even buy cigerets at the corner store, no i am just a fuck nobody that is to stupid to grasp a stupid kidds basic and simple fucking problems...yah, just a fuck ing loser like the fuxking rest of the fucking world...worthless and pathetic because i dont feel or understand those that do...yah, so i think i am going to go and be realy emo and slit my fucking wrists and say "fuck you" to all these oh so deep ppl that i couldnt posibly understand...
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  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Hun, I hope you feel better in letting all that go. It sounds like you have a long time of frustration built up inside you. I am glad you felt safe enough to let it out here. I have no words of wisdom for you, but I can tell you I know that you do understand. I have seen you talk with others in chat and also with me. I don't know who it was that said those things, but they are wrong hun. Please continue to tell us how you feel. Take care. :hug:
     
  3. Wonderstuff

    Wonderstuff Staff Alumni

    :hug: I can only agree.
    I'm sorry I don't have anything to say that hasn't been saig by gentle...
    Please hang in there, I know when people say things like that it's so annoying and so hurtful, but we know that you understand. Wish you didn't, of course, but we know what it's like.
    :hug: