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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BoonHui1988, Jan 6, 2011.

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  1. BoonHui1988

    BoonHui1988 Banned Member

    I am sorry. Very sorry. I am a failure and i admit it. I am from Singapore and i have written emails to SOS but it didn't work the way i have wanted. I want to die now. I am preparing my wills and i have even ordered a coffin and prepared my funeral mass band. I wanted to die because i am feeling lost and i have failed tremendously in everything that i do. SOS also cannot help me. SOS wanted me to go to their office to see their counsellors but i don't have the courage to do so.xxxx as all these are for sissies only. I want xxxx in xxxx. I have been discriminated by my GF because i have only got 1 testicle and my penis is small. My GF saw it and she ditched me. I cannot live another day anymore. I loved her a lot. During my school days, my teacher also discriminated me for being a gay. I didn't play soccer because i don't want to dirty my shoes because my mother will xxxx. I cums from an uneducated home and my english in school is not good but my teacher screws me by insulting me and kicking me out from the class. Made me go to EM3 class. I was an EM1 student because i worked hard in pri2 and i got to EM1 class. I started to shrink into my own world after that. I didn't want to mix around anymore. From primary school, i was promoted to the sec sch express stream then i went to Hwa Chong Junior college and i got into NUS medical school but i dropped out from medicine because i cannot take it anymore. I am going to go crazy soon. I want to die to end all my sufferings and i have already planned and made many arrangements. My deadine is up to next week and i will do as accordingly. I don;t know what to do and SOS(samaritians of singapore) also didn;t make me feel better anyway. I am a total FAILURE!!!

    sorry mama, sorry papa. I am unfailial. I want to die already so you just treat my death as nothing at all. I am a failure and it is not necessary to cry for me. Please let me go! Good Bye.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 6, 2011
  2. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    Please hold on,you seem to be in crisis and talking this out here on this forum can help you.

    Please, am here and other caring people are here right now.

    We are here for you.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome..so sorry you are feeling this way...many of us have felt like we have failed and used the support and caring of others to get us through...please keep posting and letting us know how we can be there for you...J
  4. Welcome to the forum Boon Hui. I am from singapore too. Just to let you know that you cannot discuss your methods of self-harm here, but anyway you are in distress and i can sense that in your post.

    You have mentioned that you have contacted SOS (samaritians of singapore) and what did they say? I think you should go and have a nice counselling session with them. You may also ring them up @1800-221-4444. They are operating 24 hours and you can just talk to their volunteers about your current situation and most importantly: They can keep you safe!

    Stay away from all the dangerous things whhoch may cause you harm and PLEASE don't kill youself. Thank you for your cooperation!
  5. ~Young-Violet~

    ~Young-Violet~ Banned Member


    Please can you not mention ways you are going to kill your self as it may trigger others, so please be careful. I am sorry to hear you are not feeling to great about how you are feeling, suicide will not solve anything, but only pass the pain on to someone else, it seems like you are close to your parents, would you be able to talk to your parents about how you are feeling? I feel your pain just right now, I can relate to what you are saying. I'm sorry to hear about your English teacher did you report this to the head? As teacher are NOT aloud to do this.

    Your not a failiour, please stay strong, were hear for you :hug:
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