Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by doityourself, Jan 14, 2011.

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  1. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Maybe it’s time to stop suffering through this for others, I mean how much torture can one person take. I know I need to be back on my meds, but even that’s a temporary thing, I will eventually be back to where I am today, been here many times and I’m really tired of it. Getting pissed off that it does never change nothing I do and I do try, works.

    I’m tired of lying and being fake in this world, when all I want to do is scream to just leave the fuck alone, I hate you. I’m tired of being a robot, pushing myself through the day to make others happy to have no peace within myself. I can’t keep giving there is nothing left, all I want is for someone to kill me!! Really just push me in front of a train, or hit me on my way home. Please I can’t do this anymore, take me out of my own insanity.

    Noone knows me, not even myself, what have I become, nothing, what is there left, nothing, theres nothing to give or to take anymore. Im done trying, just take me now.

    If there is a GOD then please answer this one prayer and let me leave, take me and give me peace.
  2. tappa

    tappa Well-Known Member

    i understand ur feelin of being nothing and feelin nothin and havin nothin left to give or try. along wiv u wanting somone to kill u and b done wiv it.
    im nt much help or inspiration myself atm so duno how much help i can b but reli feel for ya.
    its so frustrating and horrible most of the time ya jus wana scream.
    was there ever a time u felt u did want life? or anything? wat did ya want?
  3. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    the one person i never see as fake is you we have a pact meds at the same time right!
    i know you and think your the best person ive never met ok
    you are nowhere near being a nothing you matter so much to people whove never met you on here to your boys and your h
    if there is a god and he takes you im gonna follow and get ready to rumble with him
    its ok to scream its ok to stand at the edge staring into the abyss but breathe in the air and walk away
    maybe no one knows the real DIY because you dont know yourself untill you find the meds that satisfy you and lift you up then you may struggle but your fighting an invisible army take some time to reload its hard this time of year to get out in bad weather but even bad weather can be soothing right?
  4. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Thank you tappa, I hope you feel better, welcome to SF. Im usually better than this, so hope we get a chance to talk more.
  5. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Thank you!!!!!!!!! it means alot to see you posting, its bringing tears to my eyes to see you overcoming obstacles to make me feel better.

    The pact is still on, calling doc today to get refills.
  6. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    thats the girl i know i just hope i havnt killed your thread everyone youve helped should now return the love you show your always here for others i think we forget you need holding up too
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hey. Sorry to hear that you're feeling so down. God won't take you yet, because it isn't your time to 'leave' just yet. You're here for a reason and to grow and learn. Why cut your time here short? Life is full of ups and downs. Please don't give up. :hug:
  8. tappa

    tappa Well-Known Member

    Glad u calling docs. And NEVER apologise for hw u feel hun, no need
  9. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    you've done a lot for other people, and I think that is a wonderful thing, but now seems like a good time to think about you.

    you don't have to fake how you feel, you can express it

    I hope that you feel better!
  10. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    Hello Doityourself,

    It seems like you are really struggleing right now, and are in a difficult position, seems like you are cared for a lot on Suicide Forums by many members we would be devistated to see you ever get hurt, you deserve to be happy live life with support, because you are one amazing person we love you!

    :hug: take care

  11. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i hope you feel better soon. going back on your meds will definitely help. how come you went off them? i sometimes do that... so just wondering what's been going on with you.
  12. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Thank you everyone for posting, its nice to see that so many care. Sorry I have a habit of suffering alone, never known any other. Im coming to learn to lean on others and actually accept helpful advice, so I take everyones words to heart.

    Im feeling better after a mental breakdown over the weekend. I actually slept for 14 hours straight, got up ate, then went back to sleep for another 8 hours. I havent done that since I was a teen, but it did make me feel better and I guess Im past the manic point.

    I called my doctor and I can get my prescription on friday, so back on the meds I go. Im trying to keep my head off of the thoughts of taking pills to relieve my anxiety and depression. I know I have to to get myself better, but cant get past the sites of my mothers addiction to prescription medication. Either way its something that has to be done.

    Thank you again SF, you never let me down. :awww::sf:
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