Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by fallingangie, Jan 24, 2011.

  1. fallingangie

    fallingangie Well-Known Member

    God! whats going on.. why are things so complicated? Why me??

    Just to avoid the shit and start over new.. i moved all the way to London. And now i miss my parents.. specially my mom more than anything. This is that point of your life when you realize that if you have a loving family then you r blessed.. cuz when the whole world turns its back on you.. your family will stick by your side. Now it feels as though the one good thing i had left in my life.. i let it drift further away from me with the hope to get a better future.

    Why does it have to be this way? Why do we always lose something when we want to reach out for something else? Why is it that after every hurricane comes a rainbow.. why is there always an alternate at the cost of letting go a part of your life? Though London is a new beginning for me.. but the past didnt die.. its still there bak in my home country and thoughts of it will haunt me forever.. cuz i know it hadnt died. WIth such an unstable mental state how can i start over new without the one good thing that kept me from giving up. Im crying like hell.. i miss my family.. miss the life i once had.. n miss the part of me who died...
  2. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    Hi fallingangie,

    First of all I want to give you a big fat :hug: because I totally sympathise and empathise with what you're going through. Your situation sounds very close to my own, and I wanted to let you know that you're not the only out there feeling so homesick and lonely and scared. so :hug: :hug: :hug:

    I left and moved to London in the hopes that I could leave everything that happened in Australia behind me. And it worked, for a little while, and in some respects. I managed to get over a boy I'd loved for nigh on ten years, I found I got on better with my family (my mum and I just cannot exist in the same house without fighting), and I was so busy learning my way around London and trying to book as many trips to Europe as possible that there wasn't any time to dwell on why I left.

    But then things started to crash out in London too, and I realised that no matter what, you can't outrun the problems. The problem is that our minds come with us, no matter where we are - I don't know about you, but my mind is the root of all my problems and if I could have left that at home when I packed up my backpack, then things would be bliss. It doesn't work that way though.

    So instead, I tried to take advantage of the NHS system here. I figure I may as well, while it's free, try to get something out if it, so that when I decide to move countries again, it will be because it's a free choice, and not because things got too difficult again.

    I tried to do things that I couldn't do back home. For example I can't jet across to the Greek islands, or go to Oktoberfest, or look at the Tower Bridge every day from Australia. Maybe you can find something in London that you simply can't do back in your home country, and try to focus on that? Or do something to get you out and meeting people - I do a salsa class once a week to try to meet new people.

    It's difficult to find friends over in London (I've found it frigging hard anyway!) - people are all cliqued up from high school - so I try to do as much as I can - like classes, like tagging along with random acquaintances to wherever they're going, by trying to find London-based friends overseas when I travel. I'm not going to lie, there are times you will be enormously lonely, struggle, wonder why the hell you're here. But if you have some things around you, trips booked if travel is your thing, somewhere to go once or twice a week, try to be friends with your colleagues if you're working or other students if you're studying, then things will seem a little less lonely, and they might ease the homesickness a bit. Plus London is awesome!!

    I'm always around if you wanted to chat to someone too! I totally understand where you're coming from and I know this is kind of a long-winded way of getting there, so congratulations if you read it all! :IrishDoll:
  3. fallingangie

    fallingangie Well-Known Member

    thank you !! it really did help.. n yeah Im getting into a dance school where they teach street dance :D but i doubt ill ever make friends here.. i mean people are different with that british accent which i m totally not familiar with... i feel like an outcaste at times... n yes maybe its my mind thats haunting.. if not then i m in deep shit..
    About the NHS... well i heard that theres usually a long queue... n i can only apply for it once i get the student visa.. which i will pretty soon.. what kind of visa did you hold when you tried the NHS???
    Gimme some more tips on london! what is it like?? any cool advice.. lol
    thanks a lot xoxo
  4. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    Yay street dance! It does take some time to make friends, I will admit to that - but it will happen, just be patient, go and speak to people there and go regularly - coz I found that if you go regularly, you speak more and get to know people (rather than going like, once a month or whatever). But it sounds like an awesome idea, and I wish you loads of luck and good fortune with it :)

    I don't know what your accent is, but I wouldn't stress about that - listen to people talking on the bus (or the tube if there are people talking!) and you'll hear heaps of different accents from all over the place. More often than not it can be a conversation starter, so you'll get to talk to different people!

    I hold an ancestry visa, I'm not too sure how it would work on a student visa, but from what I understand, as long as you have a GP (which you should be able to get if you can prove you're living here), then you can go and chat to them about putting you on some waiting lists for programs in the area. The difficulty I'm facing at the moment is I'm about to change postcodes, so while I am on a waiting list for a CBT program, I'm banging my head against a brick wall (as per my other thread) because I'm not sure how to go about getting on any other waiting lists if I don't know where I'm going to live. I'm also kind of lucky coz I work in a hospital, so I get some free advice from some people I know there. I don't know what borough you're in or how old you are, but there was a really awesome program I found that was free for young people (up to 30 years old) for four assessments - that's what sent me off the edge the other day coz I would have loved this program but I'm not in the right borough. I can message you the details if you want?

    Haha tips on London as a newcomer... I found it helpful to live with other people rather than living on my own, as you then have access to to their friends and such as well. I try to think of one thing every day that makes me remember why I'm here - mine is sort of simple though - I go past the Tower Bridge every day and I make sure I look at it, and think about it to remind myself I'm here and not everyone gets to see that every day. Camden market is awesome fun (Camden night life is too!), there's something for everything you're into anytime of London, and the buses aren't as hard to figure out as I initially thought they were :)