..

I have this horrible feeling.
I'm totally fucking alone in this.
No one can save me from another three years of this.
She makes me want to scream, cry, lose my fucking MIND.
I can hear her voice in my head all the time, telling me what I really am.
I'm alone and tortured and broken beyond repair now and noone can help.
I just to die so I can get away.
I can't handle life.

 

you are not alone okay we are here and you can reach out to your doc okay get on some meds to help you. Please know that you are NOT alone you can pm me anytime hugs

 

Sarah i wish i could protect you make everything ok for you.

Just know that i love you and care for you so much.

I know it all seems unbearable right now but you are this totally amazing, intelligent and beautiful young woman and you will get through this and life is going to offer you so many brilliant opportunities. You just have to stick around to let them happen.

Just hold on for those of us who love you.

 

I am alone.
Here, it's a temporary release to talk to others, but at the end of the day there is no one here.
SHE will always be here, tearing me down and putting me back in my place, and there's no changing that.
I mean, how silly of me to think I could do something for myself.
I feel like I'm going to snap into a million pieces inside.
I'm so tired of crying, of fighting my demons, of going through the same shit when it may all be pointless.

I'm giving up. I just give up. There is no putting me back together again-I'm done.

 

Please don't give up D:

Tell her to fuck off or something. Well thats what I do. But I guess I say that to my parents like...all the time, LOL.

Or just don't even react to her? Like ignore her. Do what I do and mumble one syllable words, they eventually get pissed off and give up. When I walk inside and mum/dad say "good morning" I just say "mmm". :blink:, I couldn't be fucked telling THEM to have a good morning. Fuck good mornings, HOW BOUT A FUCKING GOOD LIFE? :dry:

Is there a way you can tell her to stop being so crazy? Hopefully you're more emotionally connected with your parents than I am(you have to be lol)

:hug:

 

They say they want what's best for me.
Translated, it's, "we want you to be this, and not you."
I'm sick of everyday turning into a fight, where I end up in tears and being the bad guy .
How is this normal?
How did life end up like this?
Why did I get stuck with forcing myself just to stay alive?
Other kids my age, they're okay. They're HAPPY.
Why do I deserve to suffer through this?
:cry:

 

Sarah you are loved here... please hang in there my sister.

I wish I had answers to your questions. Please hang in there, give yourself a night of sleep to calm down and let me pm/talk in chat with suggestions in the morning.

 

ema :wub: you, along with all her :duck:

i know we can't fix it for you, but you are a fantabulous person and we're always here for you and they won't always be there to bother you. you will get out, i promise. soon, you'll be able to turn your back and do this: :later:

:hug: sweets and hang in there

we :wub: you soooooo much!!!!!!!!!