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Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by forever_scarred, Mar 13, 2011.

  1. forever_scarred

    forever_scarred Well-Known Member

    im not quite sure why i still come...i know im not wanted...im not wanted anywhere. big inconvenience to the world. i try to be there for everyone no matter how im feeling, like i had done for so many years with mom. i know now i cant do that but i still keep coming back, i need the interaction, need to feel like im helping someone or at least am here for a reason, i need to be with people who kinda understands...where i can feel and act the way i am and yet every time i come...so much is going on in my life right now, my brain is so scrambled...and everyone acts like its nothing...to them its nothing to me my world is crushed again...this time i dunno if ill ever be able to put it back together again...ive gone back to burning, its my only way of coping now, i keep trying to end it....i want to end it. i feel like it would make everyone so goddamn happy, no more meg wahoo...to be honest i dunno what i want, other than to feel no more pain but that isnt possible. it would be so easy to go right now, so goddamn easy and no one would ever know, id disappear from here and from everyones lives for good...make em all so fucking happy :cry2:

    You're in my heart
    You're in my mind
    Everywhere ahead
    Everywhere behind
    Every turn I take
    You're right around the bend

    It's like your ghost is chasing me
    When I'm awake
    When I'm asleep
    There's a part of you in every part of me

    And I can't outrun you
    I can't outrun you
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I would notice and i care I don't want you to leave or hurt yourself. Just know i hear you okay and if you want you can pm me anytime hugs to you
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    :hug: I know the feeling.. I used to care for my family and now feel like I have no one to care for.. No purpose.. But really we do. We can care for ourselves. I'm still trying to find more purpose myself, but there has to be some for you. Maybe right now trying to find that purpose.. Let yourself talk and get what you want out. Be good to yourself. Don't let others wants and needs surpass your own.. I've had trouble with this myself before, and know it's hard to do.. But that's what you need to do. Be OK allowing yourself to express what you need and OK with allowing yourself to get hat you need..

    Hope things will get better for you. Please, try to get whatever help you may need. Don't put it off because you feel others are more important. You are just as important as anyone else.