I totally get where your'e coming from.
I graduated as valedictorian from high school, and it's humiliating now to think how I can barely pass my classes and function in college.
I can totally get the feeling of being trapped and pressured and overwhelmed, like you're trying to juggle a hundred balls that are bombarding you - and trying to keep up with everyone's expectations, and when you fail everyone around you for what seems like all the time, you start to just want to crawl up in a hole inside and die.
It. Sucks. Big time.
Depression is a debilitating disease. Give yourself some credit for making it this far with all the crap you've been feeling. Just breathing and getting out of bed is a huge accomplishment - really.
I'm hoping that after all this is over, when I've come out the other end alive, after my whole life and my self-worth has been torn down and utterly destroyed, that I will come out of the ashes a stronger, tougher, more authentic person. And so will you.