I cant start doubting myself.. If I fall into that, I won't be able to hold on.. My life and what I know now seems unbelievable to the outside.. And when they question it, I start questioning myself.. "Is that really what happened?" "Am I so screwed up?" "Am I remembering anything correctly?" "Am I just paranoid?" But I can say right now.. That really is what happened I'm not screwed up I am remembering what I can and correctly and I am actually very sane with this right now.. The paranoia will only set in once I start doubting myself.. I need to tell myself that I'm fine.. And my therapist agrees that I'm completely sane.. I'm not on meds and I'm doing really well.. I need to hold this out until I'm safe.. So please don't make me feel like a liar.. Because I'm not.. In doing so you make me doubt myself.. And I will only come crashing down..