8 months max

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by YouWillBeHappy, Aug 30, 2007.

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  1. So I've decided. 8 months max. I'm going back to school 2nd year university and living in a house with a few other students. Two semesters of school, each four months. If in this time I am not happier than I am now, I will definitely kill myself. I don't want to get a job at the end of the summer and then go back to school for two more years.

    As the weeks and months pass by I will drop more clues and eventually confess my suicidal desires to one or two people (not family, fuck that). That will be my final cry for help. My final plead for happiness.

    If I don't find whatever it is I need to find to be happy I will kill myself. I have researched a pretty good method but I'll do some more research and hopefully find a clean, quick and painless method.

    I don't want my family to go crazy (they're already pretty off) so I dont know, maybe I'll have to tell them ahead of time. Make them understand that this is my only chocie. Even though I hate my parents for having kids... it's simply immorale and self-centered. I told my mom the other day that she brought me in this world and the least thing she could do was tell me why. Was she lonely? Jealous of other families? Stupid? She said she didn't know. But then the only thing that really matters is that I'm here and I don't want to be.

    I know this isn't the 'right' place to ask... but does anyone know a website where I can talk to other people about suicide notes and concluding my life? I don't want to leave a big mess or cause any harm. I want to minimize the damage to my family and friends after I'm dead. Can anyone PM or post a good site? thanks
  2. Roobear

    Roobear Member

    Eight Months is a long time from now, who knows how things will change in your life. It's almost the exact amount of time that took me from my failed suicide attempt to meeting my then future husband and love of my life. God what if I had been successful the first time? I would have missed out on meeting the most important person in my life. You never know when good things can happen.

    I'm not sure that happiness is something that you plead for or need, it's something that you choose to feel. Everyday, every moment most people have the ability to choose how they feel. You can choose how you feel about a person, a place, an event. It may not always seem like it when things are hard and seem hopeless but in the end it's still how you want to react to the events in your life.

    Life can be alot of waiting, some waits turn out for the better, others don't, but you keep waiting because the best wait could be the next one. I know it's hard but keep waiting.
  3. TranceAngel

    TranceAngel Well-Known Member

    roobear that was a nice post. You Will Be Happy...do hang in there. I am always amazed that when things seem darkest, there can be a surprise around the corner. don't give up.
  4. TwilightHours

    TwilightHours Active Member

    Just answer this as best as you can: Will death make anything better?
  5. I'm done waiting, this is my last time. The mere chance of nothing good coming out of waiting is not worth living. 8 months is the max, I could kill myself in as little as 2 months.
  6. It will stop my depression, anger and suffering. So, yes.
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    8 months is a long time and things may change. But it's good that your giving it another shot. What if, you find happiness in a years time but you killed yourself in 8 months time from now. You would never know that happiness was waiting for you.
  8. what if I spend the rest of my life in the absolute worst pain?
  9. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    So in the end the question is "What if"

    believe in yourself and take each day as it comes. Hopefully things will turn out for the better for you.
  10. and if they don't I'll get a rope and learn how to tie one hell of a knot :smile:
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