it was 8 months no cutting it went by like mornal nothing good nothing bad just here. then all of a sudden i lost my grandmother and then a week later 2 of my aunts one to cancer and the other in a car wreck. right when i thought things couldent be worse my gf left me when i needed someone the most so i did the only thing i could think of doing to numb the pain i held a razor to my wrist and cut deep so i could see if i felt anything but after that all the emotions i had were gone. i came out of my room arms bloody feeling nothing no one loves me no one cares and as long as i have my real friend my razor im as good as one can be in this life of pure hell. i just needed to let it out to be honest with you and the taste,the smell and the look of my own blood is sweet to me. no one gets me and its hard being the only child in a life where your father beats you and your mother walks away from you when you need someone. can anyone help me? or even give me some hints to get threw a day without feeling the need to put the end of a shotgun to my head and pulling the trigger.