.....

[ZombiePringle]

I know that there is some people on here that really don't like me and thats understandable... But honestly... If I don't say how I'm feeling and all that stuff on here then I have no where else to say it. I do have my girlfriend to talk to but... I try to not say much about my thoughts and all that because it just worries her and distracts her from her school stuff. And I have no other friends. At this point in my life I have a bunch of people around me that really don't like me. I guess thats all its ever been. I'm socially awkward... I get that. I say a bunch of stupid stuff because well... I'm not a very smart person.

I'm getting to the point that I don't even feel comfortable posting on here. I just feel that what I say people just laugh at anyways.... Maybe its not true but It would be hard to convince me otherwise so... don't even bother trying. Its just where I'm at right now. I'm in a horrible place and absolutely refuse to believe anything good about myself. I'm kind of giving up on myself. I've never felt this sure before about ending my life.. I see no other way out. I've decided that I needed to get all this off my chest just in case.

Honestly I don't expect much as for replies on here but just needed to say it.

 

[me myself and i]

Hey Josh, have read countless caring posts from yourself.
You can think what you like about me.................. you have a cyber friend in me who does care that you live.
If you think people dont like you, then let them, let them carry that emotion, not you.

 

[ZombiePringle]

Thanks Pete.

I just really wish I had somebody actually in my life that shows that they care. Somebody I can actually see on a regular basis.. an friend that I can actually sit down and talk to. and do all that friend stuff that friends do. My girlfriend is 3 hours away and I can only see her every few months. And she is my Best friend...but I need another friend here. I've been stuck in a city for 3 years with almost nobody knowing me or even seeming to want to know me. All I get is hate from everybody around me. Its taken a huge toll on me. And I've gotten to the point that I don't care what happens to me.

 

[total eclipse]

No is laughing at you hun we care i care about you I do hope you meet some one until then please know people care here hugs

 

[WildCherry]

I know you feel like giving up on yourself, but just want you to know that there are people who won't give up on you, and who really do care. :hug: Here if you need anything, even if it's just someone to listen.

 

[Phteven]

Thanks Pete.

I just really wish I had somebody actually in my life that shows that they care. Somebody I can actually see on a regular basis.. an friend that I can actually sit down and talk to. and do all that friend stuff that friends do. My girlfriend is 3 hours away and I can only see her every few months. And she is my Best friend...but I need another friend here. I've been stuck in a city for 3 years with almost nobody knowing me or even seeming to want to know me. All I get is hate from everybody around me. Its taken a huge toll on me. And I've gotten to the point that I don't care what happens to me.

I can get where your coming form dude as i want the same thing in many ways....and if I was near you we could be awesome friends I think, as you seem to be obsessed with hockey as much as i am...but i'll have to settle for online friends instead...but know that you have lots of people here (me included) care for you and I know its not the same as irl yet I still care about you and i wish i could help you other than writing this post but its the best i can do atm...if you need to vent or talk hockey pm/msn me