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Its currently 1am... In about 9 hours its my mums funeral... I'm 16 and I've lost my own mum.. She was my best friend since I was born, we did everything together.. She was my safety blanket... And she's gone forever...

I shouldn't even be acting like I'm in shock, we knew it was gonna happen, she had lung, kidney and bowel cancer for 4 years, in and out of the hospice so it wasn't sudden.. I just wanna cut every part of my body repeatedly right now...
Dear k3bberz:

You have my heart, this morning.

Your mother sounds as though she were a paragon of fortune to have produced a child that could return her own love in such abundance. I strongly appreciate your devotion to her. As does she. However, there is much I would like to discuss.

Your body and your mind; these things she cherished most in life. So, could you -- no, would you knowingly or willingly incite an ounce of harm upon a part of what your mother kept treasured above all other? My friend, I can say this only once: every cut you make will tear a part of her away, and leave the grief of death on you to swallow every day. You are the keeper of her worth now. Those things she once engraved in you are now yours to share with another. Moreover, you may find that you cannot truly give up on yourself because of that great love you both shared. Do well with those things she has imbued in you.

It is now time to be her eyes and to show her things she needed yours to see. Live enough for two now, and still bring her with you everywhere you go. In conclusion, I ask that you please find some rest so that you may properly give a good woman hers when that hour comes. Approach her casket out of love, and not regret. Be well, dear. Truly.


Benjamin O.

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