im feeling very unstable and "close to the edge". my husband left to go to his new duty station a week ago and i'll only be able to follow in november. i moved back in with my dad for now bc we moved out of our apartment and had all our furniture sent to the new duty station and since i live far away from where we used to live, i cant see my therapist anymore. i have no one to talk to about this now but i really really need to. i have BPD and when i tell someone how i feel about this situation they will think that im childish and overreacting. i was thinking about calling chrisis line but they didnt understand it either last time i called. im trying to distract myself and to keep busy so i dont count the minutes untill i can talk to my husband on the phone again. hes the most terrible phone or online person and we cant talk and be as affectionate as we usually are. i need that though! its driving me nuts and im even beginning to get thoughts like "is he trying to distance himself from me?", "is he only not saying how he really feels bc he feels bad for me and would feel guilty if he told me straight out that im dragging him down and that he isnt happy with me?". i dont want to think about stuff like that but its creeping up on me and i wait for him to be affectionate with me and tell me he misses me, to take away my worries. it just doesnt seem to happen. maybe im just too needy atm and what hes showing me isnt enough. i told him about how i feel and he told me i was just seeing everything negatively, that nothing changed between us and that hes doing his best in phone conversations. ive been trying to call some friends so i can get out of the house and distract myself but no one is answering my calls. one very good friend i got back in touch with, i talked to on the phone for quite a long time the other day and we made plans to meet up again twice but both times she ditched me and now she even turned off her phone completely. i text and call but no one answers me! its really driving me nuts. i feel rejected i feel so alone, rejected and abandoned and only after a week. i feel like no body cares about me, no body >loves< me enough. i feel like a big baby for needing so much affection and constantly needing people around me to convince me that they care for me and love me.